Blackmail
by KuroiShinigami07
Summary: What would happen if Aizawa had more than one roll of film from when he had Shuichi raped and decided to use that to blackmail the singer?Throw a vengeful Yuki in the mix and you have this story.YxS, AxS NCS, yaoi Added epilogue so now complete
1. Default Chapter

**AN**: Okay, so I finally decided to add something extra to this chapter. The reason why it was originally so short was because I didn't think I would finish this story and I was about to scrap it, but my friend Kim yelled at me and made me post it. Thank you Kim. I'm sure everyone who likes this story also thanks you. I hope everyone enjoys the revisions (or if this is your first time reading the story, I hope you like it all in general).

Now, for some warnings. This fic is a testament to how demented and fucked up my brain is. So, if you have a problem with M/M relationships, rape, blackmail (as the title suggests), violence, sex between men, cursing, etc, then why the hell are you watching Gravitation? This fic is just more screwed up and graphic (hopefully, I won't get in trouble).

This chapter is written from Shuichi's POV and there's a flashback written in italics (it's a kinda long flashback, but bear with it).

**Disclaimers**: Gravitation and all of its characters belong to Murakami Maki-sensei and I'm just borrowing everyone for my own twisted pleases. If I did own Gravitation, there would have been more yaoi goodness throughout the rest of the series and I wouldn't be here writing fan fics. With that said and done, enjoy the story.

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Blackmail: Chapter One

I lay on my back, the world around me out of focus as the dull sound of the creaking of old bed springs echoes throughout the room. I barely notice as the man above me grunts his release, filling me with his vile seed, further defiling me. I hate how he has me laying on my back, the same way my beloved does. Who does he think he is that he can take me like I'm his legitimate lover? But then again, all this is to him is just a game. He revels in my pain, his orgasm just an added bonus. I softly groan as he pulls out of me leaving behind only a dull pang of pain and the slow trickle of semen and blood. Selfish bastard didn't even bother to prep me before ramming hard and fast into my ass.

I close my eyes as I feel him shift positions from being above me to sitting beside me. I try to block out the reality of my situation; I'm not ready yet to deal with what is happening to me again. I don't want to be reminded that I am reducing myself to nothing more than a cheap whore; a sex toy to be played with by this uncaring prick.

"On your knees," he orders. I hate when I have to actively participate in this little game of his instead of just letting him have complete access to me. He must know that I'm trying my hardest to not cry, to not break down in front of him because of the way he's treating me. But all I can do is comply and slide my pained, bruised body off the bed and kneel in front of him, his cock in front of me half erect and waiting for me to give it some attention. I take it in my hand, slowly pumping it while he grins down at me. He's loving every second of this.

"I don't have all night," he says with that smug grin still plastered all over his face. I close my eyes and engulf the hardening organ, feeling it push at the back of my throat. He grabs my hair to set up a tempo that he prefers; fucking my face relentlessly as he tries to reach another orgasm. My scalp hurts as he pulls harder on my hair, trying to increase my already dizzying pace. I almost bite him as he cums in my mouth, making me swallow his seed. I remove myself from his crotch and cough, wanting to force the vile liquid from my body but I remember the punishment from the last time I tried that. Instead, I try to keep the bile form rising in my throat to expel what should have never been ingested.

I'm still on my knees on the floor; my head resting on the side of the bed when I feel the man who has just made this past hour of my life a living hell shift his weight. He's now standing and searching for the rest of his clothing which he threw carelessly around the room. I refuse to move until he is on his way out the door, taking the money I have to give him. He looks back at me to say that he'll see me next week before walking out the door, slamming it behind him. I'm torn between wanting to take a shower and wanting to leave out this cheap, dank motel room to the safety and security of my home. I just want to cuddle up in my own bed to cry myself to sleep and pretend for another week that this never happened and that I'm am more than that man's cheap toy. But right now, a shower sounds good.

After what seems like forever, but is actually 2 or 3 minutes, I stand up to walk over to the small bathroom to wash the filth of that man off my body. I look at my reflection in the mirror. The image of a once proud, happy-go-lucky but now broken man stares back at me. I try not to dwell on it too long but instead walk over to the shower and turn the water on to as high of a temperature as I can stand. I let the steaming hot water cascade down my body and I grab the small, cheap bar of soap to start the process of cleaning myself of some of this grime. Soon my vision becomes blurry and I break down and cry. The only thing I have that keeps me going, the only person that keeps me from ending this all, the one man in this world that gives me the power to endure this, is the one I must come face to face with tonight and fear his possible wrath.

After being in this godforsaken motel for nearly two hours, I drag my bruised, sore body down the steps before I come to rest at the lobby. Aizawa left me with the responsibility of turning in the keys and paying for the cheap, dank room that I was forced to degrade myself in. After I hand the receptionist my money and the room keys, I ask the man who looks as if he wishes he were dead whether or not he knows the number of any taxi services. He lifts his head up to once again acknowledge my presence and points outside to where there is a small number of cabs sitting out there, waiting and hoping to get a fare from the motel. I thank the man who doesn't even move to say or do anything to show that he actually heard me but I don't dwell on his rudeness; I just want to get out of here as quickly as possible.

It doesn't take me long to walk up to one of the taxis and hop in, giving him Hiro's address since I don't think I can bear to look my lover, Yuki, in the face just yet tonight. The ride seems maddeningly slow and all it does is force me to think back to the events of the past week that left me in such a humiliating and degrading predicament. That day started off like any other and I would have never guessed that it would have had such an impact on me.

flashback>

_"Tadaima!" I yell at the top of my lungs before I start running through the house in search of my blond lover. I am so excited and can barely contain my joy as I slide though the house; my socked feet slipping slightly on the polished, hardwood floor. We finished recording early in the studio today and K was nice enough to let us go home early. Since yesterday was one of Yuki's many deadlines, I haven't spent enough time with him and now is my chance to be with my koibito. _

_"Do you have to be so loud," I hear my lover grumpily say from the kitchen as he walks out towards me with a mug of coffee in his hand. Despite the fact that it's after 3pm it looks like he just woke up not too long ago which would explain his foul mood. I'm not surprised since Yuki usually sleeps forever after a deadline because he would have pulled several all-nighters in a row. _

_Despite his grumpiness and irritability, I can't help but try to jump into his arms to show how much I missed him during the day. But, having lived with me for so long, he easily sees through my intentions and sidesteps me at the last second and I fall face first into the floor. My whining does nothing to him and it not like I expect him to apologize, but my crying and wailing is due more to habit than anything else. _

_"Stop crying. Dammit. This is the last thing I want to deal with when I wake up." Yuki takes a sip of his coffee and walks over to the couch to sit down. I stroll over to him after I finally pick myself up from the cold, linoleum floor, still rubbing the part of my face that impacted with the hard surface. Once I get to where my lover is I straddle his waist and snuggle up against him like a big teddy bear. He says nothing as we just sit there, enjoying each other's company and the silence between us. It's not one of those suffocating silences that threaten to drive someone insane, but rather, it's a soothing calm that allows me to listen to the rhythm of Yuki's heart and find peace in its steady beating. _

_"Oi, brat," I hear my lover say with such gentleness that I barely notice the insulting nickname that now seems to be my pet name. "You received a package earlier. I just needed to tell you before I forget about it." I think the real reason Yuki told me this was because we've been sitting like this for a while and he probably wants the feeling to return back to his legs sometime soon. I scoot off of his lap and head towards one of the end tables that usually house the mail we receive daily. I don't recognize the handwriting on the front and there's no return address and I'm almost surprised that Yuki hasn't opened it yet; he always opens anything that looks suspicious but he was probably too tired to notice it._

_I'm almost squealing with delight over what the contents of the package might be; it's an oversized envelope so it could possibly be fan mail or maybe that autographed picture of Nittle Grasper that I've always wanted (Tohma's too mean to sign anything for me when I'm at work). I head into the kitchen to find a pair of scissors to help me open the envelope; it's been heavily taped and there's no way that I can get it open otherwise. After the annoying tape has been dealt with I reach in and pull out a piece of paper and that's when my world comes crashing down on me. It's a blackmail letter from Aizawa stating that he still has pictures from when he had me raped and that he would go to the press with them, along with Yuki's past, if I don't meet him every Friday at some shady sounding motel with 250,000 yen. _

_I'm almost hyperventilating after reading this and I'm trembling when I notice that it feels like there's still something inside the envelope. I hesitantly reach inside and I pull out several photos of me with my attackers. I stand here looking at the pictures and it seems as if the whole world has stopped and all that remains is nothing but my worst fears. I thought I was able to move pass what happened to me and that I would no longer have to deal with the jealous rival but I guess I was wrong._

_"Oi, brat, what's in the package," I hear my blond lover say from the living room, his words pulling me out of my waking nightmare. This is one of the times when I am truly grateful that he didn't open the suspicious looking mail cuz the last thing I ever want him to see is what happened to me that fateful night in order to protect him._

_"It's nothing Yuki, just some annoying fan mail," I say back to him, hiding the envelope under my shirt as I move quickly out of the kitchen and head towards our bedroom. Even though I can't see him, I can feel Yuki's amber eyes boring into my back as if he's trying to read my soul and find out the truth. Luckily, he says nothing and lets me continue my journey. He knows I'm hiding something but he lets me hide it from him for now._

_Once I finally reach the dark bedroom, I turn on a light and look once again at the blackmail letter and try to commit the information to memory. I've never heard of the motel that he wants me to come to so I'll have to look it up. Also, there's no way I can withdraw that much money from my account without Yuki noticing. He thinks that I'm too immature and irresponsible to handle my own finances so he does it for me. While he is right, it won't take long before he receives a bank statement and notice a lot of money missing and unaccounted for. _

_If that wasn't bad enough, today is Thursday and I have to meet Aizawa tomorrow evening with the money. I don't think I'll be able to go to the bank and withdraw that much but I have no other choice but to try. If I can get everything done on time tomorrow morning, then maybe K will be nice enough to give me a decent lunch break and I can go to the bank then._

_It's not long before my thoughts are interrupted by the sound of Yuki walking down the hall towards me. Normally, I'm not so observant, but when you feel as though you're trapped against a wall with nowhere to run, you notice everything. I search around the room quickly to find a place I can hide the envelope and its contents without my lover finding it and I decide to place it in the bottom of my underwear drawer. As far as I know, the novelist doesn't go through my boxers; unless he has some weird underwear fetish I was never aware of._

_Before I can close the drawer Yuki turns the doorknob and enters the room, the light from the hall spilling in. "What's wrong and what are you doing," the blond asks as he notices that my hand is still inside my underwear drawer. I have to think fast in order to make up a lie that's believable without giving myself away; I honestly think that I'm the worst liar in all of Japan and Yuki will be able to tell in a heartbeat if I'm not telling him the truth._

_"Getting…something," I say as I try to think of something better to say. I quickly close my underwear drawer and roughly open up another random drawer and act as if I'm looking for something. "Why can't I find it," I say just loud enough for my lover to hear me while I pray that he'll think that I'm just clumsily looking for some random item that I misplaced in the dresser. I begin to open another drawer when I hear my lover sigh and come over to me. He's muttering under his breath about me losing my head if it wasn't attached to my neck and how I'd still find a way to succeed at that impossible task. _

_"Just tell me what you're looking for and I can probably find it," the blond says in an annoyed tone. Me randomly rummaging through most of my clothes is probably ticking him off since he's usually relatively neat. He looks down at me and this is the first time since Yuki came in here that I've actually looked up into his eyes. There's no concern or disbelief in them and I almost sigh in relief knowing that he's not suspecting anything. _

_"I'm looking for one of my stage outfits; well, the shirt at least. The girl who wrote that letter said I looked like a whore at my last concert and I just wanted to see if that shirt really looks that slutty." I'm actually amazed at myself for saying something so perfect without completely fucking it up. I think Yuki brought it cuz he just sighs again before opening the closet door and pointing to where all my stage outfits are hanging up. _

_I just say 'oh' and I reach in to grab a random shirt that looks as if it would better suit a girl working on the streets than a young male pop singer and I hold it in front of myself. "This doesn't look slutty, does it?" I know that it does but I just need to go along with my little white lie for a bit longer._

_I receive a devilish grin from Yuki as he looks at the shirt and he's probably remembering how I looked in the outfit on stage; my body swaying with the music in a dance meant to tempt and tease everyone who looks my way. No matter what I wear on stage, Yuki knows that I am his and his alone. That probably adds to his excitement that he can receive a personal performance anytime he pleases and he will see me wearing a lot less than this. _

_"Well," he's licking his lips as he moves his hand to remove the piece of fabric that I call a shirt from in its place in front of me. "I don't think you look _slutty_ as opposed to…fuckable." Now that there's nothing between us, my lover lifts his hand to tilt my face before he crashes his lips against mine. The passion and power of this kiss send my senses wheeling and I forget all about my troubles and fears. The only thing that exists right now if Yuki and I'll be damned if I'll let anything else get in the way._

_I think everyone in the studio earlier today was completely surprised that I was productive today. Anyone who knows me could tell that I got a little too much loving from Yuki last night which usually leads to an unproductive, wasteful day; however, I had no time to loose for anything in the world. I needed to finish everything either on time or early so I could go to the bank (which I was able to do) and the only thing left for me to do is mentally prepare myself for the worst. _

_So now, I'm standing here in a dank, dirty, and creepy looking motel room waiting for my rapist to arrive. I was so nervous about being late that I actually got here twenty minutes early. I can't help but pace around the small room and try to focus on everything but the bed that sits in the middle of this area. I glance over at the small paper bag full of money that's sitting on the table near the door. I then glance out the window and notice that the only thing out there is a windowless brick wall. Well, at least I don't have to worry about someone looking into the room and seeing me in this position._

_I keep up the pacing for a few more minute when I hear the door to the room open. I look up from floor to see the object of my fears and apprehension wearing an evil grin on his face. He closes the door behind him and begins to slowly walk towards me like a cat stalking his prey. I barely notice that I'm walking away from him until my leg hits the end of the bed. When he does finally reach me, I once again lower my head and avoid his gaze like the plague. Finally, I can't avoid him any longer when he forces my face up roughly and makes me look in his eyes. After a few seconds of staring me down, he roughly pushes me down on the bed and looms over me. _

_"Well at least you know your place, you little slut," he says from above me in response to my submissiveness while his hands work on remove his shirt. I can't help but look around the room, expecting either someone to come save me, or someone to come help Aizawa with humiliating and degrading me. Unfortunately, after a few moments, no one comes to my rescue but at least no one comes to help my irate rival._

_"Look at me, bitch," Aizawa says in an aggressive tone which forces me to look back in his direction and I notice that he's completely naked. I slightly blush and want to look away but I know that that's not an option right now. "Take off your clothes," he orders, his eyes never once leaving my small form as I slowly sit up to begin the task of pulling my shirt off. I hesitantly pull my pants down, leaving my boxers on because I don't want my bear butt to touch these sheets that probably haven't been properly cleaned since they were purchased._

_It's only a matter of seconds before I feel an added weight by my legs at the foot of the bed as Aizawa finally decides to join me. I can't stop my body from sliding back some in a futile attempt to escape my soon-to-be rapist. He laughs some at my movements before reaching down to pin his hand on my chest in order to stop me from fleeing. I turn my head to the side and stare off at the wall as I feel his cold hands travel down my body. It's taking all of my will power to not let any tears spill from my eyes as I feel him roughly remove my boxers but I know I have to be strong right now._

_"Turn over." The former singer barks another order that I must do and I turn to now lay on my stomach but before I can get comfortable (as comfortable as one can get on a disgusting motel bed) he moves my body so that I am now on my hands and knees. I know what's coming next and I'm only granted a few seconds to try to calm down and attempt to relax before I feel Aizawa force his way inside of me. I have to use every ounce of power to not scream out in pain. Instead, I bite on my lower lip to prevent any sounds from escape my mouth and I know that I'm gonna have to explain my bruised lip and limp to Yuki later._

_Above me, my rival moans out his pleasure while all I feel is mind numbing pain. It's the kind of pain that makes you wish that you were unconscious so you wouldn't have to deal with it any longer. I received no warning, no preparation, no nothing. And now, I can feel blood trickle down my thighs and I know that this pain will last for a while. But for now, I have to try to block out the feeling of being ripped in half and remember that I can't give this uncaring bastard the pleasure of seeing my tears, or hearing my pleas and screams._

_His actions are fast and hard as he tries to reach his completion, my body nothing more than a means of helping him with his orgasm. It isn't long before I hear him moan aloud, his movements stopping momentarily as he cums inside of me. There are a few more small, little thrusts of his hips as he makes sure that my body receives all that he has to give. When he finally does move from inside of me, I collapse back onto the bed and I shudder as I feel his semen and my blood slowly flow from my body. Aizawa is still kneeling behind me trying to catch his breath and all I can do is hope that he's done with me. All I want to do is shower and go home. I don't want to be here any longer with this prick, forced to be his sex toy for however long. _

_"Not bad, bitch," I hear Aizawa say before he moves to lie down beside me. I try to move away from him, not wanting to be close to him, but I can't. My lower body is so sore and it hurts to move. I guess I have no other choice but to stay here until he gives me another order. We are both silent and I wonder if he's asleep or just plotting something. _

_"Clean yourself up; I don't want to get blood on any of my shit." With that said, I slowly drag myself out of the bed and stand to walk over to the small bathroom. Luckily, the door to the bathroom is on my side of the bed so I don't have to walk too far in this condition. I grimace with each step I take, the pain shooting though my body, but I bear through it all. _

_I close the door behind me and turn to the shower. I set the temperature for as high as I can stand and step in. I'm a little surprised that this meeting didn't last as long as I feared but I shouldn't complain; this was not as bas as when Aizawa had me raped. _

_I'm in here for a few minutes before I hear the man of my fears banging on the door telling me to hurry up. Not wanting to upset him for fear of the consequences, I just rinse my body off of any lather from the soap and exit the now steamy room, dressed only in a towel wrapped around my lower body. Aizawa is fully clothed again, but I can't help but notice the erection confined in his pants. I know that it's meant for me and I wonder why he even bothered to get dressed again if he's just gonna fuck me again. But then again, maybe he wants to give me a false sense of security just to mess around with my head._

_He sits on the bed again and motions for me to come to him. I do as instructed and I move to stand in front of him. The former singer begins to unzip his pants and he removes the cherry-red organ that was begging to be freed._

"_On your knees," he says and I am frozen for a few seconds. The last thing I want to do is suck this bastard off. It's bad enough that I have to be here, but I don't want to do anything, except be quiet and let him do whatever he wants with me. "Did you hear me you little slut, or do I have to repeat myself?" Anger and impatience are lacing his voice like a sheet of ice and I know that I should probably do as told if I want to get out of here without much incident._

_I lower myself to my knees, his cock in front of me threatening to further defile me. I almost grin because – even though I shouldn't be thinking about it at a time like this – Aizawa's a lot smaller than Yuki and Hiro. Maybe that's why he has to resort to rape to get laid. The other man must have noticed my amusement because he grabs me by the back of my head and roughly pulls me down onto his dick. I nearly gag as he pushes the swollen organ as far as he wants, not bothering to let me breath. I try to pull away from him so I can at least get a breath of fresh air, but his hand prevents me from moving too far. I want to bite down on the hardened flesh in my mouth in order to remove it, but I don't even want to think about what Aizawa would do if I attempted that. So instead, I am left with the only option of letting him fuck my face until he cums. _

_Luckily, as soon as I stop struggling, he pulls out of my mouth some and I take this chance to fill my pained lungs with some fresh oxygen (well, as fresh as it can be when breathed around someone's sweaty cock). Once I do get some air onto my body, he once again pulls on my head to the speed he desires and I once again nearly choke, but luckily I don't. After what seems like an eternity he cums inside of my mouth, his hot seed filling every crevice until it overflows and some trickles down the side of my mouth._

"_Swallow it," I hear him say above me, slightly out of breath and looking somewhat dazed. I know I have to, but my body refuses to listen for a few seconds. I do finally swallow the milky-white substance, but I can't stop the bile from rising in my throat and I promptly vomit all over the floor. I'm hunched over as I force out semen, lunch and whatever else happened to be inside my stomach onto the floor. After a few minutes of shuddery, chocked breathes I feel Aizawa's foot push my head down on the floor, my face coming to rest a few centimeters from the disgusting pile of vomit that I left near the bed._

"_You dirty, fucking whore. Think you're too good for it, huh?" With that, he pushes my head into the chunky, pinkish semi-liquid as punishment. I try to lift myself up but Aizawa's foot once again pushes my head into the floor, this time harder before he walks away. I immediately get up, sitting back on my heels, and remove the towel that's still around my waist to wipe off my face. I can't believe he actually did that to me but I should have known to not underestimate anything that Aizawa is capable of doing to degrade anyone. _

_My back is to the other man while I continue to try to clean myself off while trying to suppress the urge to throw up again. I hear him open the paper bag that contains the money I have for him; he probably wants to count it to make sure I'm not trying to short-change him. I sit perfectly still and wait for him to finish counting so he can leave. I want nothing more than to go home and curl up against Yuki like a kitten snuggling against its owner. It's a few more minutes before I hear movement but I don't turn around to look. _

"_Don't forget to pay for the room and I'll see you next week." With that, I hear the door open and close, signaling that he has finally left me here in peace for at least another week. I drop the towel over the mess on the floor and head to the bathroom to once again take a shower. I just hope that this cheap soap and shampoo will be enough to overcome the stench of everything in that happened in this room, but even if it doesn't, I'm gonna take another shower when I get home. _

_Home. I can't think of the last time that one simple word brought me such pleasure just thinking about it._

end flashback>

"Is this the address you want," I hear the cab driver say, bringing me back to reality. I turn to look out the window and notice a familiar apartment complex so I nod to the driver before I take out my wallet to pay the man. I ease my frame out of the small car and limp over to the building.

That first night, I went back home to my lover, avoiding him at all costs for at least three days. Luckily, he spent a lot of time in his office so all I had to do was stay away from him during dinner and almost every night until I could walk straight again. I said nothing to Yuki and I know that he's still worried but right now, I can't face him; I feel too dirty and ashamed to see him at the moment.

Fortunately for now, Hiro doesn't know that I have to do this. I just show up at his apartment and tell him that Yuki and I had another fight. It's not uncommon for this to happen but at the same time, this is the first time that I've had to come over because of a fight in over two months. But instead of asking questions, he just sighs and lets me in so we can talk about this. I wish I could tell him what the real problem was but for now, that's not an option. I can't risk getting anyone else involved.

"So, what happened this time?" Hiro asks as I sit down in the living room while he prepares some tea for me. I have no idea what to tell him without having him mad at Yuki for something that he didn't do. Sometimes his over protectiveness is appreciated, but right now it only keeps me from telling him anything because if I told him the truth about what was going on, he would probably want to kill Aizawa. So I just sit here quietly while he prepares the tea, and after a few moments I am rejoined by him. He sits the tray in front of me and begins to serve the hot liquid. I can feel his eyes bore into me as he await my explanation but I instead stare down at the tea trying to think of anything that sounds believable. The only problem is, Hiro knows when I lie and he hates it when I keep things from him. So I choose to remain quiet and hope that Hiro decides to not ask anymore questions.

I feel his hand on my cheek bringing my face up so he can look me dead in the eyes. His expression is so sad like he has to tell me that my dog died. I almost crack under his gaze; breaking down into tears and telling him everything that happened but I don't. He leans in towards me and for a second I think he's going to kiss me but instead he brings me into him embrace, hugging me tightly while soothingly drawing circles with his hand across my back. A few silent tears escape my eyes as he holds me and all I can do is hope that he doesn't notice the moisture falling onto his shoulder.

"Yuki-san called earlier trying to find you. He said you've been acting weird for a while and when you didn't come home on time he got worried." I can hardly believe what Hiro just said as he tries to take this new approach on getting me to open up with the truth. Yuki never calls around looking for me; at least as far as I know. But then I glance over to the clock and notice that I was supposed to be home almost three hours ago; Yuki knows that I'm never late if I can help it and I usually call when I am. That plus the weird way I was acting probably frightened him. He's been a lot nicer and considerate since he opened up to me a few months ago.

"Hiro," I breathe out his name before my entire body is racked with pain-filled sobs. I hold onto my friend tightly, gripping his shirt in my hands as I cry out all the pain that has filled me for the past week. He continues to stroke my back and whisper soothing words into my ear but I can hear nothing over my own crying.

After a few moments, my body stops trembling with the force of my pain and sobs so that my tears become silent. I still refuse to let go of Hiro, refuse to let him see me like this. It's not like this would have been the first time he's seen me cry, but I don't want him to know the reason why I'm in so much pain right now. I move to sit in his lap and curl up, still crying in his shirt. I wonder how many shirts of his I have ruined with my crying yet he never complains and only holds me tighter.

His hand moves to gently stoke my hair and he remains silent knowing that I will tell him as soon as I'm ready. He has no idea what could have happened to me so he's patiently waiting for me to confide in him. I let the sound of his heartbeat and the gentle motions of his hand in my hair calm me to the point where I have no more tears to cry. I lift my head slightly to glance over at the clock again to notice that we've been like this for over half an hour. Yuki must be worried sick and that's the last thing I need to happen.

I slide from Hiro's lap and reach my hand over to grab the phone that's sitting on the end table. He just looks at me while I try to dial the number to the home Yuki and I share so that I can tell him that I'm safe and at Hiro's place. I hold the receiver to my ear after a few failed attempts at dialing the right number; my eyes are still blurry from all the crying. After the second ring Hiro grabs the phone from my hand and waits for Yuki to pick up. I just stare at him as he explains to my lover that I'm at his place now and that I might not be home until tomorrow. There's a moment of silence on both ends before Hiro reassures Yuki that I'll be fine and that he won't do anything inappropriate with me. Yuki should know by now that I would never _willingly_ cheat on him.

Hiro finally hangs up the phone and looks at me. "I didn't think you're in any condition to talk. Besides, you'd just worry him even more." Hiro stands up after a few seconds and reaches out his hand to me. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up." I accept the outreached hand and let him pull me into a standing position and leads me into the bathroom. I look in the mirror and notice that my face is pink and puffy; not a pretty combination. He grabs a washcloth and begins to clean my face for me. Sometimes, I swear Hiro is like my mother.

"Do you wanna take a shower?" Again, Hiro-okaa-san is trying to replace my real mom, but another shower does sound nice.

"Yea, that sounds good," I say in a small, cracked voice. It would be great to let the water wash away some of my pain. He steps out to grab an extra towel and something clean for me to put on. When he comes back I've stripped down to my boxers and have the water running for the shower. He sets the towel and clothes down and asks what I want to eat. Despite being hungry I have no appetite so I decline his offer to cook for me. All I want right now is a hot shower and some rest to forget about all the happenings of this day.

As soon as I step out of the bathroom fresh from my shower I'm confronted with one of my greatest fears. Sitting in the living room chatting with Hiro is none other than my precious Yuki. Normally I would be ecstatic to see my best friend and my boyfriend getting along and having a nice conversation without keeping up appearances for my sake, but now is not the time for me to see Yuki. I'm just standing in the hall, both men in my sight but I'm completely out of theirs, watching them discuss what might be wrong with me. Seems like they only like each other when they both have to worry about me.

I finally leave the safety of the shadows to join them in the living room. Yuki is sitting down drinking tea while Hiro is standing near the kitchen; he's probably cooking for me because something smells so good. My head is down and I tug at the ends of the shirt the Hiro lent me that is obviously too big for my slender, petite frame. I want to just run into Yuki's arms and cry myself to sleep but I don't want to have to tell him about what's going on. I glance up and notice the sadness and worry that's in his eyes. All of this is for me; the pain, the concern, and the other raw emotions that one would never, _ever_ see in the eyes of the infamous Yuki Eiri.

"You didn't have to come Yuki," I say in a voice so small that I'm not sure if I even said anything. But I must have because Yuki responds by walking over to me and wrapping his arms around me, tears threatening to fall from his beautiful amber eyes.

"I'm sorry Shuichi. I'm so sorry." I'm dumbfounded as he says these words. What could he possibly be sorry for? He didn't do anything and even if he did, he never apologizes and would never conceive of doing so in the presence of anyone other than me, Tohma and maybe his siblings. But all I can do is return his hug and cry into his chest; the warmth of his body soothing and frightening at the same time. I don't want him here, yet I don't want to let go for fear of him leaving me again to never return.

"Why are you sorry, you didn't do anything?" I whisper into his shirt after a few moments of intolerable silence. I don't know why he's acting this way towards me but it's frightening. Yuki never shows his emotions so this is scary and I don't know how to react.

"I'm sorry because I couldn't protect you."

"From what? You're always there for me Yuki." I'm choking on my words hoping that he isn't talking about what I think he is. I don't want him to know what I've had to do to protect the both of us. I hope he didn't find out about all the perverse activities I had to participate in order to keep both our secrets quiet. I look over to Hiro who looks like he's about to cry, the dinner oblivious to him; luckily he turned off the burner or else the kitchen would be on fire by now.

"I found the envelope Shuichi." Yuki's voice pierce through my soul, crushing it and making me want to sob harder. "I saw the pictures and read the note." Now I push away from Yuki, the breath leaving my body as I gasp for air. I step away from my lover and my friend, but I only end up hitting a wall. I wrap my arms around myself as if that will give me the comfort I so desperately need at this moment. Before I realize it, I've slid down the wall and am now sitting on the floor, my face buried in my knees.

"Gomen Yuki, gomen." I know that Yuki will never look at me the same way again. Not only does he know about what I have to do with Aizawa, but he also saw some of the things I had to do when I was first assaulted by the jealous singer. Just thinking about that makes me want to disappear from his sight and hide under a rock until things get better.

"Shuichi." This time it's Hiro's voice calling my name in a soft voice, trying to coax me to look his way. I feel a hand on my shoulder and I know it's him, but I can't turn to look at him in the eyes either. "It's okay Shuichi. You know we're here for you, just let us to help."

"Demo…demo…" I can't finish my thoughts because there's nothing left for me to say. I'm a whore; it's just as simple as that. I could have asked for Yuki and Hiro's help earlier, but I didn't. I knew what I was getting myself into and I let it happen. There's nothing more to say.

I let myself be pulled into Hiro's warm embrace but I still keep my head down and refuse to look him or Yuki in the face. Hot tears continue to stream down my face and blur my vision so I barely notice when Yuki kneels in front of me, but he forces me to look in his eyes.

"Daijoubu Shuichi, we'll take care of this now." This is the first time in a long time that I've seen Yuki's eyes look so cold, so hard, so ruthless. I'm almost afraid to ask what he will to do rectify the situation. I don't know why he's even bothering to do this for me; I put myself in this situation. When he stands up to walk away I reach out my hand and grab the leg of his pants; there's no way I'm going to let Yuki do _anything_ that will get him in trouble.

"Onegai Yuki, don't. Boku wa… boku wa…" I did this so you wouldn't have to worry and you wouldn't have to face and relive your past. "I can handle it alone. I don't want you to get hurt." My voice sounds cracked and raw as I plead for him not to do anything stupid. Yuki would try to, and probably succeed at, killing Aizawa.

My lover just looks down at me wanting so badly to make the man who has reduced me to this pay, but he also wants to be here to comfort me and honor my request of letting me handle everything. But I know the look in his eyes says that he cannot stay with me while Aizawa is still out there.

"Nakano, look after Shuichi for me." With that said, Yuki walks out of the apartment to leave me alone, still in Hiro's arms. I can only stare at the door as I try to imagine what Yuki may do and hope that it won't result in any bloodshed.

* * *

So, whacha think? I know I'm evil and sadist so you don't need to remind me. Please review and let me know. I love feedback and it's the only thing that makes me write and finish my fics. I'll accept flames, cuz I know everything isn't perfect and I need to improve. Stupid, useless flames, however, will be forwarded to professors I don't like.

**Notes: **

1. Demo – But

2. Boku wa – in this context, it means "I will/can" (boku is a first person pronoun and can mean 'I'; wa is a sentence particle which marks the subject of a sentence)

3. Daijoubu – in this context, it means "It's okay,"

4. Onegai – "Please"


	2. Confronting Demons

**A/N**: Hey everyone, sorry for the wait but I wanted to make sure I got plenty of feedback and have time to do some work for my classes.

Again, here are the warnings. If you have any problems with rape, violence, foul language, sex between two men, drugs, blackmail, and all that other kind of stuff, what are you doing watching Gravitation or reading the second chapter of this story? It only intensifies as the story goes on. Slight spoiler only for any Aizawa related issues from the manga and anime and I think that's about it (let me know if I'm wrong).

Finally, thanks to everyone who left feedback cuz it made me all happy, and warm and fuzzy inside. And thanks to my friend, Kim (The Brown-ie), for trying to edit this chapter even though you haven't watched any Gravitation…yet.

**Disclaimer**: Don't own, so don't sue. Only borrowing characters for my own sick, twisted pleasure.

This chapter's in Yuki's POV and it starts on Thursday (so the day before everything else happens in the previous chapter). Enjoy.

* * *

Blackmail Ch 1 - Confronting Demons 

I sit in my office typing away at another mindless piece of drivel that seems to make all the women in Japan scream for more. I can hardly believe that I actually have some time to sit here and write considering that my idiot boyfriend is home. I'm surprised that he hasn't already come in here to talk my ear off about how much his day sucked, what the psychotic American manager of his tried to do and how much he can't stand Seguchi's brat little cousin Suguru. Instead, as soon as he walked in the door I heard a low, tired, "tadaima" before he went into our bedroom. He came out only after I made dinner and even then, he was quiet. Now, don't get me wrong, I love it when the brat doesn't talk to me but this isn't like him. He's been acting so strangely for over a week and I can't figure out why. Our sex life has suffered and he seems more distant. I've asked him what's wrong and he says nothing so I leave it at that. Maybe I should be more concerned but chances are he's talking about it to his little friend, Nakano Hiroshi, so things will work out eventually.

Needless to say I'm a little surprised when I hear a light rap at my door, signaling that Shuichi finally decided that he wants some attention from me. I quickly save my work and tell him to come in. Since my deadline isn't for a while I can afford to let him occupy most of my attention until I get bored, annoyed, tired or horny and tell him to shut up. He cracks the door open and looks at me like a scared little child waiting for his father to give him permission to disturb his work. I just lean back in my chair and motion for him to come in. I can tell instantly that something is on his mind by the way he's tugging at the bottom hem of the tank top that he's wearing. Judging by the fact that he's only wearing that and a pair of boxers, he's either gonna tell me he's going to bed or ask me to join him. He'll probably ask me to come to bed with him cuz he wouldn't be so nervous for any other reason. It's so cute how timid he gets sometimes when he asks for sex; like a scared virgin on her wedding night.

"Ano… Yuki…" He's still tugging at the damn hem. I just want to strip him of it... and while I'm at it, those blue boxers and replace it all with my body on top of his. He keeps his eyes downcast as he fumbles with what he wants to say and since I'm also kinda horny and very impatient, I walk over to him and place my hand on his cheek and move his face up so that his eyes are staring into my own. I breach the gap between us and lean down to kiss him passionately on the lips. His hands leave the hem and begin to grab at the front of my shirt. When I do pull away from him, his lips are slightly parted and his face is flushed. I love being able to have such a strong affect on him.

"Let's go to bed Shu-chan," I purr to him as I lead him to the bedroom. If I didn't know any better, I would have sworn that he was a little hesitant about it. Either that or…distant. But then again, he would say something if he didn't want to do anything tonight; he's infamous for doing that and I've become used to it.

Once we enter the bedroom our lips once again lock, but this time he's getting more into it; good. I was afraid that he was gonna turn me away tonight and complain about not being in the mood or some shit like that. Shuichi wraps his arms around my neck and I guide him to the bed where I push him to lie on his back, bringing me down with him. We lay like that for a few moments; my frame dwarfing his as we exchange heated kisses. Our tongues and limbs intertwined in an age old dance of love and lust. My tongue laps at every crevice in his mouth tasting his sweetness and memorizing every inch of that warm cavern. Shuichi is gently sucking on my tongue, teasing me without even knowing it; all the while my fingers are playing the silky strands of hair on his head. I pull away from our heated kiss allowing us to once again breathe in fresh air.

He looks so scared like this _is _his first time. Okay, now I'm beginning to get worried; he hasn't had that same look since the first time I was with him after Aizawa's attack and I don't even want to think about that.

"Daijoubu," I ask while stroking his hair and pulling away some; I don't want my erection rubbing up against him to influence his response.

"Just thinking," is his short reply. Even though this is neither the time nor place to think about anything but each other, I don't want to probe any further. It must be something very important or something is wrong. Dammit! I don't want to deal with this but I know I have to.

"What are you thinking about?" I try my hardest to not sound annoyed; it's not that I'm mad at him but I'm just angry with the situation.

"Yuki, do you love me?" Dammit, the 'L' word again. Why does he insist on asking me that question? Can't he just judge by my actions that I must or else I would have kicked him out before he even moved in?

"Baka," I mutter, wanting him to get the point so we can move on but he just looks like he's about to cry. Great, just what I needed – a reason for my dick to get soft. "Look, what's wrong and why are you so concerned about how I feel right now?" I'm now sitting next to him, my hand pushing a few sweat-soaked strands of hair form my face.

"You know I would do anything for you, and I wanted to know if you would too." He's looking off to the side as if the wall is the most interesting thing in the room. Now I'm confused; where the hell did that comment come from? What happened and why does he look like his best friend just died in front of him?

I lean down and place a simple, gentle kiss on his forehead before scoping him up in my arms. I'm sitting again with Shuichi in my lap while he lays his head against my chest. It's times like these when I realize how much smaller he is than me. I wonder if someone said anything to him about our relationship and it got him worked up? It wouldn't have been the first time and I need to remember how sensitive he is about what other people say about us sometimes. His insecurities come to the surface and he thinks I'll just leave him for some bimbo with a huge rack.

"You know I care for you Shuichi and I will never leave you." That's the closest I can come to saying the 'L' word and I even have trouble with that. That must have put his mind to ease because he's now smiling up at me like I just proposed to him. That's all that I need to say for him to be put at ease and for the both of us to enjoy the evening ahead of us.

Shuichi is extra clingy tonight, insisting on cuddling after sex. Well, it was more like begging cuz he knows I like space while I sleep, but I indulge him tonight since he's been worried all day. But he better not try to make a habit out of this or I will make him sleep on the couch again.

Despite snuggling up with me like I'm some giant teddy bear, he still has nightmares throughout the night, waking up in either a cold sweat or screaming for someone to stop. After the first three times of waking up, he goes out in the living room so he won't disturb me because each time he woke up, I got up with him and tried to find out what was wrong and give him some comfort. But apparently I can't even give him that and he just has to leave our room for the night.

By the time I do wake up he's already gone and I wonder how he slept or if he slept at all. But I don't have too much time to dwell on things before I take a shower and start a fresh pot of coffee to brew so I can start another day of work.

I finish up the chapter I started on last night as well as start on another before I notice that it's almost time for Shuichi to come on from work. Tonight, I decide, I will talk to him about what's been going on and get him to open up. He's probably afraid of making me worry or getting me sick again. I've told him several times after that incident that he's not the reason why my ulcer got worse; it was a combination of several factors including stress, poor diet (and it won't get any better) and a change in prescription. The new medicine that my psychiatrist gave me had a bad reaction with some of the other pills I was taking. Of course I didn't mention the psychiatrist but he still should have gotten the point.

I start to worry when I notice that he's late by almost an hour. He didn't mention anything last night about coming home late today so I go out to the living room and kitchen to look for a note. It's not like I'm panicking or anything, because I could have easily overlooked a note earlier this morning. Shuichi always lets me know when he's coming home late, even if he calls me to say that he's going to be 10 minutes later than he planned. But after I search every inch of both rooms I find nothing. I check the answering machine to see if I missed any calls and again nothing. I even go as far as calling Hiroshi and ask what happened to Shuichi but he said that he hadn't seen him since work. Now, it's time for me to panic.

I go back into the bedroom to see if he put it on the nightstand or somewhere so I would have notice when I got up. I look for anything that could be used to write a note on but what I notice instead is the corner of a folder or envelope sticking out of Shuichi's underwear drawer. The brat would be clumsy enough to knock a note off the dresser and have it land in one of the drawers. I calm down some as I open the drawer and notice that it's an envelope with something still in it. It's addressed to him but I can't help but be curious about an envelope being mixed in with my lover's underwear. That's too weird even for him.

My heart races as I unclasp the envelope, and I feel like Shuichi will come in at any moment and ask why I was going through his clothes and his mail. But right now I don't care if he catches me because I have a right to. I mean, he's my lover, he was late today, I was worried, and the envelope looked suspicious. Even his friend would probably do the same if he were in my position.

The first thing I notice is a letter that's in it. I don't recognize the handwriting so I know it's not Seguchi's or Nakano's and it's too neat to be that American's (even though I've never seen his handwriting, I doubt it's any good). Even though I shouldn't, I can't help reading it and my heart nearly stops when I read the contents:

_If you don't want your fucking boyfriend's secret to hit the tabloids along with these pictures, bring 250.000 yen and your tight little ass to the Moonlight Motel on the edge of town on Friday at 6:00pm. And be sure to keep your schedule clear cuz this is a weekly thing. Tell anyone and all of Japan will see you for the slut you are._

_ - Aizawa_

The anger and rage that I should feel it outweighed by the fear and helplessness that engulfs me. The envelope is postmarked over a week ago and today is Friday. I let the paper drop to the floor and with a shaky hand I reach in the envelope again to see what pictures he may be talking about while I hope and pray that it's not the one's I think it is.

My heart stops and I can't suppress the tears from rolling down my face as I look at one of the pictures. I immediately drop the photo, but the image on it is burned into my brain. It was a picture of Shuichi getting double teamed by two guys I've never seen before. It's obviously a photo from when Aizawa had Shuichi raped; I guess the roll of film he gave me was either fake or he had more than one. Either way, it's my fault that my lover's in this situation now.

My body won't stop trembling but I still manage to leave out the room to call Shuichi. If I can, I want to get him out of this situation as quickly as possible. Even though it's almost 7:30 and I don't want to think about what's already happen, all I know is that I need to do something now.

After I can finally dial his cell phone number correctly (my hands wouldn't stop shaking), it goes straight to voicemail signaling that he has his phone off or he has no reception wherever he is. The only thing left to do is go over there and drag Shuichi home.

The Moonlight Motel is the shadiest motel I've ever seen in my life and I lived in New York. I walked up to the receptionist who looks like he wishes he were dead instead of working here and I ask him if a room was reserved by either an Aizawa or a Shindou. He says that Aizawa reserved the room and Shindou paid for it and they both left not too long ago. I try my hardest to not breakdown knowing that not only was my lover here, but he was here for well over an hour with a man who either raped him or had him raped…again.

I run out the dank lobby and jump in my car. I'm driving so fast back home that I'm surprised that I make it all the way without being stopped. I thank my luck that at least I can return home to Shuichi and hold him and make him realize that he didn't need to do any of this. I need to make him realize that I would have taken care of everything and done it right this time.

"Shuichi," I nearly yell into the still dark apartment before I practically run inside. I kick my shoes off then run throughout the house looking for any sign that he is or at least was here. But everything is that same as when I left it earlier. Dammit, where could this boy be?

I feel myself getting slightly dizzy and I realize that I need to calm down or else end up in the hospital again. I walk into the bathroom and grab a few bottles of medication and swallow a few pills. Normally I would take them dry but my throat is so constricted that I need to drink something. I look at my reflection in the mirror and tell myself that I need to calm down. Shuichi needs me to be there for him when he gets in and I can't do anything for him if I'm an emotional wreck or coughing up more blood.

I walk out to the living room, deciding to skip a well needed glass of anything stiff, and I sit on the couch. I don't even bother to turn on the lights, knowing that it will probably make my migraine even worse. I take a few calming, deep breathes and look at the clock that sits on the other side of the room. It's nearly 8:30 and Shuichi left that damned motel around 8pm, and I drove here like I bat out of hell, so if Shuichi caught a cab it makes sense that I would beat him home. So now all I can do is sit and wait until he comes home.

I barely notice my self nodding off until I'm frightened from a medication-induced slumber by the ringing of the phone. I jump up from the couch and run to grab the phone, finally answering it after the fourth ring; luckily my phone goes to the machine after five rings. Instead of it being my precious Shuichi on the other end, it's his friend Hiroshi.

"Hey, Yuki-san. I just wanted to let you know that Shuichi's here and you don't have to worry. He'll probably stay the night and I'll just give him a ride tomorrow morning." I'm silent for a moment trying to figure out why he's at Hiroshi's apartment and not here; but then again, Shuichi was probably afraid to come home.

"Oi, don't worry Yuki-san, I won't do anything inappropriate with your Shuichi." Hiroshi's probably took my silence as me questioning him, but I trust Shuichi enough to know that he would never cheat on me with his best friend; he never sleeps with other people willingly.

"Yea, I know. Bye." With that I hang up the phone. It's not like I want to be rude, but I want to _see_ Shuichi not just hear that he's "fine" from his friend who probably knows nothing. I grab my car keys and head out the door, trying to remember where that damn guitarist lives. He usually picks up Shuichi so I never had to drive there. In times like this, the only thing left to do is call Seguchi. Needless to say, he is confused about why I need to know Hiroshi's address so I just lie and said I got into a stupid fight with Shuichi and I'm going to apologize. Either he buys it or decides not to pry too deeply because he just gives up the information without much argument. Once I have the address I promptly hang up on my brother-in-law. God Bless the man who invented cell phones and caller ID so I can ignore Seguchi's calls for the rest of the night.

Again, I speed through the streets of Tokyo not caring if I hit anything or anyone because nothing else matters to me right now other than Shuichi's safety. My travel time is cut in half and in no time I find myself standing outside a tall apartment complex that houses the redhead and my precious lover.

I was probably the last person he expected to see tonight when I do arrive. When I enter his apartment, I'm greeted by the young man and the sound of a shower. I can't blame Shuichi for wanting to take a shower after what he's been through, but I would have rather not have to wait any longer to see him.

Hiroshi motions for me to sit down before he goes back into the kitchen to finish whatever it is he's cooking. I'm joined by him a few moments later, his meal either done or forgotten as he sits down across from me.

"So what do you think it is? I mean, he seems like he's a wreck and you rarely ever call looking for him." Well, at least he's straight to the point. I'm surprised that Shuichi didn't tell him what happened. I mean, he tells his best friend everything else and he even came here after the first time he was raped, seeking this boy's protection and understanding.

I try my hardest to not break down in front of him, and I barely succeeded while I explain to him what I found. "I found an envelope in one of Shuichi's drawers earlier. It was a blackmail letter and pictures." I look over to the redhead to see if he was able to put the pieces together without me having to say more. I don't want to say out loud what the letter said or what the pictures were of. But the damn bastard doesn't seem to know the depth of what I just said. He simply nods and looks angry but he's not reacting the way any normal person would if they knew I was taking about Aizawa Taki.

"So, what did the letter say? Do you know who it was from?" Bull's eye; he's completely clueless. He's looking at me now, already trying to plan a way to punish the person for doing this to our Shuichi.

I just look at him and try to find the words to explain to him without causing myself a mental breakdown. "Aizawa still had pictures from the last time. To keep the fucker from going to the press with 'em, Shuichi has to give him money and…" I choke on the last part not even wanting to imagine my lover in that situation. The images from earlier threaten to resurface with every word that flows from my mouth, like venom poisoning my mind, heart and soul. I lower my head so he can't see my emotions or reactions; I think I may cry if I keep talking about this.

Hiroshi shoots straight up from his seat as if he could beat Aizawa right here and now. He's pacing back and forth in front of me but all I can see is he feet since I refuse to look up at him. His breathing is forced and ragged like he just finished a fight but wasn't satisfied with the beating he gave the other man.

"Onegai, Yuki-san, tell me you're lying. Please tell me that Shuichi doesn't have to let that sick bastard use him like that. Tell me that it's just cash, nothing else." The redhead is frantic as tears threaten to overtake him. I just shake my head, bringing my hands up to my face as I try to calm myself. It would be easier if the man across from me wasn't about to break down.

"Oh my God." He finally paused in his pacing around the apartment to lean against the doorframe of the kitchen. I look up at him to see that his hand is over his face and he's trying to suppress his sobs. I lean back on the couch and take a sip of the tea sitting in front of me. Chances are this cup belongs to Shuichi and even though the liquid in the cup has already gone cold, it helps to soothe me.

"So what are we gonna do?" Hiroshi straightens himself out while still looking at me. "There has to be some way to take care of this so Shuichi doesn't have to face it anymore. I mean, we can't let this go on any longer."

Just then I notice my pink-haired lover walking towards us, obviously in one of his friend's shirts because it is a few sizes too big for his small frame. Again, his head is down and he's tugging at the hem of the shirt so he must be nervous; he probably didn't expect to see me here.

"You didn't have to come Yuki," I barely hear him as he whispers in a small voice and he doesn't even bother to lift his head up to greet me. I wonder if he was this scared when he was alone in that motel room with Aizawa and Buddha only knows who else, completely at the mercy of that irate rival.

I stand to walk over to Shuichi – the pain and fear evident in my eyes – and I reach out to embrace my lover, never wanting to let him go so I can always protect him. "I'm sorry Shuichi. I'm so sorry." My voice is cracked and anyone can tell that I'm close to crying. I feel petite fingers wrap around the fabric of my shirt as I say these words, tears slowly wetting it. We stand here for a few moments with him crying and me trying not too; I hate to show weakness in front of anyone especially at a time like this.

"Why are you sorry, you didn't do anything?" That comment rips at my soul; he's right, I didn't do anything and that's the problem. I should have done something earlier and maybe we would not be here but instead I'd be enjoying a lovely evening with the man I love.

"I'm sorry because I couldn't protect you." His body tenses slightly next to mine; he's afraid that I know what's happening to him and he's not prepared for that. If only I had found that damn letter earlier.

"From what? You're always there for me Yuki." Shuichi's voice sounds so young and vulnerable and that's exactly what he is. I have taken so much from this boy that's barely a man, and he still feels like I've done all I could for him. I always seem to come too late to protect him from harm, coming only to get retribution.

"I found the envelope Shuichi. I saw the pictures and read the note." I don't have a chance to say anything else before my beloved pulls away from me and backs away from me. His face is flush and tears are coming down in streams from red, puffy eyes. His arms wrap around his chest in a protective embrace as he's breath leaves him and he practically hyperventilates.

"Gomen Yuki, gomen." I don't know why he's apologizing to me; he's the victim in all of this. But all I can do is watch as he backs himself into a wall and slide down its length to sit in a broken heap on the floor, his knees pulled up to his chest and his head resting on the pale joints. I'm practically frozen where I stand, not sure what to say or do that won't make him feel worse or make me break down.

I barely noticed the redhead move until I see him a few feet from my lover, Shuichi's name escaping his lips. He kneels down in front of his friend and places a hand on his shoulder trying to coax him into facing us and letting us be there for him. "It's okay Shuichi. You know we're here for you, just let us help." Shuichi still keeps his head down on his knees.

"Demo…demo…" It's like Shuichi is trying to refuse our help; like he thinks he deserved to be treated like that and we should condemn him for it. He barely even accepts the hug from Hiroshi and it's more like he's just letting his best friend hold him. Shuichi just continues to cry and ignore the comfort Hiroshi is trying to give him.

Now the pain and sorrow that I've been feeling for most of the evening is replaced with hatred, anger and malice; the one I love is suffering so much. The worst part about all of this is that he seems to be blaming himself for everything that he's had to endure for these past two Fridays. Why can't he realize that he didn't ask for any of this to happen and he's just a victim of a sadistic bastard hell-bent on revenge? I can't stand to see him eat himself up over something that he has no control over so I must end this all now to save what's left of my lover's purity, innocence and virtue.

I kneel in front of Shuichi and bring his face up to meet mine. "Daijoubu Shuichi, we'll take care of this now." I know that he can tell just from the look in my eyes what I'm planning on doing; since I couldn't stop that perverted bastard from having his way with my lover, I'll make it so he can never hurt him again. I have to make things right or else I'll go crazy watching Shuichi blame himself for being my savior.

I stand to walk out and pay Aizawa a late night visit but Shuichi grabs a hold of my pants leg and looks up at me pleadingly. "Onegai Yuki, don't. Boku wa… boku wa…I can handle it alone. I don't want you to get hurt." I know that all he wants to do is protect me but trying to protect me has gotten him raped twice in his short music career. I can't just let his rapist walk around free while spending the money my beloved spent so much hard time earning. His hard work, dedication, sweat, tears, and blood – lots of blood – went into getting him where he is today.

I look down at him, wanting to end the pain that he's feeling by being here for him but I can't do that. Hiroshi is here so he'll be fine while I go pervert hunting. I just stare in my lover's eyes for a few seconds longer before gently pulling my leg away and heading towards the door. Shuichi must know that trying to keep me here is a loosing battle because he lets go of me so I can go on my journey.

"Nakano, look after Shuichi for me." With that said, I head out the door, leaving the two on the floor in each others arms. I know Hiroshi can do more for Shuichi than I can. Hell, I couldn't even help myself after what happened in New York so there's no way I can do anything for Shuichi but this.

After closing the door behind me, I immediately pull out my cell phone and call Tohma again. After about two rings he answers, probably worried about me since I never call him more than once a day and even if I did, I would never call twice in an hour.

"Eiri-san, what's wrong? Did Shindou-san not accept your apology?" I can tell that's he's faking concern; it's pretty obvious that I lied about going to Hiroshi's place to apologize to Shuichi.

"Look, I'm not in the mood. I just need some info on a certain little half-assed, wanna-be rock star turned rapist. He went after Shuichi again and this time I need to do something about it." He can probably tell by how venomous my voice is that I mean business because the other end goes silent.

"Eiri-san, please, let me take care of this." He's almost pleading with me just like Shuichi to stay away from the man who is trying to ruin my life and the life of the one I love.

"Didn't you say that you would take care of it last time?" I don't even try to hide my anger and frustration. Tohma said that he would make sure that Aizawa would never even think about coming anywhere near me and Shuichi. Not only did he come near us, but he blackmailed and fucked Shuichi. I don't want Tohma to 'fix' anything else; all I want from him is info.

Again, I'm greeted by silence on the other end of the phone. "Please, listen to me Eiri-san, I can…"

"Do you know where he is or not?" I don't feel like dealing with my brother-in-law trying to stop me. If he decides that he doesn't want to help, I'll just have to find Aizawa myself; my network of connections may not be as extensive as Tohma's, but all I need to do is mention my 'brother's' name or contact some female and I can get anything I want. By the time he decides to talk to me, I'm already in my car and starting the engine; I still need to stop back home anyway so I can wait a few more minutes for him to tell me what I need to know.

"If I give you his address will you promise me that you won't do anything too dangerous?" He knows that I can't and won't make that promise so I don't even know why he bothered to ask. But in the end, he just sighs and tells me the address.

"Be careful Eiri-san and call me when it's all over." Well, at least he's going to be nice and help me cover this all up. Last thing I need is a murder conviction. Funny thing is that I would still probably be a best seller even in prison.

Once I open the door to my quiet, dark home I immediately change my clothes; I don't want to risk being spotted by anyone. I choose a pair of black slacks and a dark shirt. Unfortunately I don't own a pair of sneakers so I have to wear a pair of black dress shoes along with a long black trench coat complete with sunglasses. Now I look like an assassin complete with a small handgun Shuichi's crazy American manager gave to me when Shuichi and I went out on that godforsaken date. I can't believe that I kept it but right now I'm glad that I did; it would have been a waste to throw away a fully loaded 9mm handgun.

I lock the door behind me as I leave out ready for whatever the world and fate brings me. I hop in my car and examine the address Tohma gave me. The place isn't too far from here but it's not in as nice an area as this one. I let my rage steer me to the dark, deserted neighborhood that houses Shuichi's rapist. There are no people around and not even the moon is out to witness my sin. It's as if Tohma called ahead and told the world that it would be in their best interests to cease to exist for a night.

My heart feels like it will jump out of my chest as soon as I step out my car. I parked a few blocks away from the actual address in as dark of a spot as I could find. I slowly walk to the apartment address followed only by the clicking sound of my shoes assaulting the pavement. While making this walk that seems to never end, I reach into the pocket of my coat and pull out a pair of black leather cloves; last thing I need is for my fingerprints to be on anything.

I'm nothing more than an angel of death as I walk up the stair to Aizawa's apartment; only thoughts of revenge and murder are present in my mind and heart. My emotions weren't even this strong the first time I confronted him, but now is not the time to think about anything else. All there is for me to do is end everything here and now.

I knock on the door, not too hard to cause him suspicion but I want to make my presence known. I tired-eyed, sloppy haired Aizawa Taki opens the door with a sleep laden voice asking who the fuck I am and why I'm bothering him. As soon as the door is cracked open by just a little bit, I kick the door completely open, sending the former singer flying back. I can tell by the look on his face that he wasn't expecting anyone tonight.

I look at his pathetic frame as it moves further away from me, sliding across the floor. He hasn't gotten up from my little surprise kick and he seems more concerned with getting as far away from me as possible instead of standing up. I close and lock the door behind me as I step deeper into the room, hoping that no one will think that the sounds they are hearing are suspicious.

"So, you still have a thing for my Shuichi," I say as I stand above him after the stupid bastard backed himself into a wall. My eyes are cold and hard while his are silently begging for mercy. I pull a cigarette out of my pocket, place the short nicotine-filled stick between my lips and light it while I wait for Aizawa to say something. It's not as fun if he doesn't beg for his life.

"I-I-I-I don't know what you're talking about," he stutters out as I blow some smoke into his face and flick a few ashes into his hair. He's sweating hard and his eyes are shifting trying to look for a way out from under my overpowering gaze and threatening form.

"Is that so?" I kneel down in front of him and grab him roughly by the collar of his shift and blow more smoke into his face. "So you mean to tell me that the letter sent to him wasn't from you and that other people in Tokyo have pictures of him getting raped by two guys?" My grip is firm as my eyes bore into his, the cigarette held firm between my lips.

"How do you know he wasn't just having some fun with a few other guys?" I can't contain my anger and I punch him, hard, in the face splitting his lip and causing his head to hit against the wall. I let go of his collar and let his body slump against the wall. His eyes were a little glazed and I'm obviously upset but that doesn't stop him from taunting me.

"But then again, last time I met up with him he didn't seem to mind it too much." There's a smirk on his face while he wipes some of the blood from his lip as he waits for me to do something to him. It's as if he _wants_ me to loose my temper and kick his ass. But before I can do anything the world around me goes black and quiet. Bastard did have something up his sleeve and it resulted in me getting hit in the side of the head and being knocked out.

There a sound similar to the buzzing of a group of locus in my ears, making me wonder if I was truly in the presence of humans or if my limp, unconscious body was take to a wooded area and left to rot. All that's for sure is that my head hurts and my eyes refuse to open and face the reality of the situation. A small groan rumbles low in my throat as I try to move from my position on the ground or floor but I then notice that my hands are tied behind my back. To this my eyes shoot open and scan the room around me. It takes a few seconds for my vision to adjust but when they do, I see a man I've never seen before and a similarly unfamiliar woman giving some attention to Aizawa's busted lip. This must mean that I haven't been out for too long unless he's been biting at it or something to cause the blood to continue to flow.

"Looks like our little friend is awake now," says the man who I don't recognize as he walks towards me and nudges my side with his foot. I try to say something to the guy and tell him to get the fuck away from me, but I realize that my mouth has been taped shut. This begins to unnerve me more; who knows what this sick bastard plans on doing with me while I'm like this.

"Since I came all the way over here Taki, what did you plan on me doing with him?" He turns his attention away from me for the moment to look back at his partner in crime who's trying to tell his little slut bunny to leave him alone. "We could always have a little 'fun' with him. I mean, he's probably tighter than the last one."

Okay, now time to panic; I'll be damned if I'm gonna be _anyone's_ little bitch. I start struggling against the ropes that are tied around my hands but I only succeed in making them tighter. The two men in the room laugh at my attempts to free myself and all I want to do now is strangle both of them; but first, I need to escape.

The mystery man bends down to help me to my knees and this is the first time I actually get a good look at him. He's about as tall as Aizawa but better built and more rough looking. His shoulder length jet-black hair is pulled back into a ponytail and he has a short scar on his left cheek; this guy was definitely not someone I'd want to be associated with. I can probably beat him in a fair fight, but I doubt that he'll fight fair. He looks ready for anything dressed in a pair of loose fitting jeans and a dark blue T-shirt.

Once he has me on my knees, he hits me hard across the face, my cheek taking most of the impact. I nearly fall back but I somehow manage to keep my balance. I know that when I get out of this, I'm going to have a visible bruise. He then grabs a handful of my hair and forces my head back and moves his other hand up to hold the tip of a gun at my temple.

"I know; maybe we can shoot him with his own gun so it looks like suicide." I can only stare in disbelief at his words and I think about the irony of the situation and statement. The metal feels so cold pressed against his skin and I truly wish that I had stayed home with Shuichi instead of coming here for revenge.

"Later," I hear Aizawa's voice say. He then gets up and walks over to where I am, the girl taking the cue to go in a back room, probably his bedroom. The singer's lip is purple and puffy from my earlier attack and he probably wants to get even with me before pulling the trigger. The guy with the ponytail gets up and take a few steps backwards to make room for the man that embodies all the hatred I feel right now.

Aizawa stoops in front of me, his face less than a foot from mine, like he's asking me to head butt him, but I refrain from doing anything; I need to wait for an opening to get my hands undone before I kick his ass. I just stare at him evilly while he smirks in my face. Our staring contest lasts for about a minute before I feel his hands start working on my belt buckle. I try to pull away from him with my eyes still locked on his but his grip on the leather belt keeps me from getting too far.

Aizawa's the first one to break our gaze by moving closer to me so that he's mouth is right by my ear. "You know what, Yuki-san? You, Shindou and that bastard Seguchi ruined my life. I had everything I ever wanted until that brat showed up; fame fortune, women, everything." I feel his hands now move to work on the button and zipper of my pants. Before I can squirm away, his friend moves to kneel behind leaving me with no place to go. "But now…now I can finally get back at all of you. Just think how your _precious_ lover and brother-in-law will react to finding out this happened." He pulls down my pants leaving part of my lower body exposed to the night air. "Your pain is their pain." I hear something behind me; it sounds like a zipper being undone.

I try to show no emotion but on the inside I'm panicking. Unless someone comes to my rescue in the next 5 seconds, I'll be Aizawa's next victim. I think fast for something – anything – I can do to get away from here but with my hands bound and my pants down at my knees, I can't really move or fight back. Only thing left to do is silently pray to any and every god that can hear me to help me.

"Oi, Takakura-san, I wanna be first." So that's the other guy's name; I'll have to remember that for when I talk to Tohma so he can share Aizawa's fate. Well, only if I live long enough to talk to Tohma.

Aizawa and Takakura switch positions and now Aizawa is behind me threatening to do to me what he did to Shuichi. I close my eyes and mentally prepare myself for the impending pain. I hear Aizawa undo his zipper and he once again moves to whisper in my ear while the tip of his cock pokes threateningly against my backside.

"Scream for me Yuki-san."

* * *

Yes, I know I am evil for everything that happens in this chapter. Sorry to everyone who loves and worships Yuki because I left him in the situation.

Don't forget to review. Also, point out any mistakes (I already know that I sometimes switch back and forth between present and past tense, but I tried to fix that as best as I could). Flames will be accepted unless they are dumb and useless. In which case they will be forwarded to all the people I don't like.

Next chapter is Tohma's POV (even though I love writing from Yuki's; he reminds me so much of my brother so it's fun to write).

**Notes**:

1. Demo – But

2. Boku wa – in this context, it mean I will/can (boku is a first person pronoun and can mean 'I'; wa is a sentence particle which marks the subject of a sentence)

3. Daijoubu – in this context, it means "It's okay,"

4. Onegai – "Please"


	3. A Dish Best Served Cold

**AN**: Hey everyone, sorry about the wait but unlike the first two chapters, I had to write this one from scratch (kinda). Actually, part of this chapter was originally written in Yuki's POV so I did a lot of cutting and pasting and editing so it would sound more like Tohma. Hopefully it's good and I'm actually somewhat successful as a fanfic author.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed and told me how much you loved my story. All of your praise made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Thanks to my friend Kim for editing this story and actually pushing me to post it on FF.N. And finally, thanks to everyone who's actually reading this and didn't just skip down to find out what happens to Yuki.

Now, for some more warnings. If you have a problem with M/M sex, mentions of rape, blackmail, drugs, death, and bad things happening to Yuki, why are you watching Gravitation and how did you make it through the first two chapters? This chapter is…ummm… yea. You'll just have to read it to find out how inappropriate it is. This chapter, like the rest of the story, is rated M so I better not hear from any irate parents saying that I'm negatively influencing their kids.

This chapter is from Tohma's POV and begins right before Yuki called him asking for Hiro's address. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

**Disclaimer**: Don't own, don't sue. I'm just borrowing characters for my own sick, twisted pleasures.

* * *

A Dish Best Served Cold

I sit at my desk in my office at N-G Records trying to finish up some necessary paperwork before finally heading home for the evening. Ever since getting back together with Nittle Grasper it seemed like I've had even less time for my job as president of this record label, not to mention that I've been neglecting my family.

I look up from the stack of papers in front of me to see my wife sitting across from me helping to go over the budget that my accounting staff has laid out. Other than Sakano-san, Mika is the only person in the world who will come to my aid at all hours of the night and help me make sure that my business runs smoothly. We have been sitting like this for hours but we're almost done. As tired as I am, I prefer to have everything important taken care of before I leave my office; either that or take my work home but lately that hasn't been working.

Mika notices me looking at her and lifts her head up and hands me the proposal that she has been looking over for that past twenty minutes. "Everything looks fine except for the fact that that crazy American needs his own separate account to manage all of the damages that he causes."

I just respond to her with a smile; it's true that K-san is a rather destructive manager but he's very good at what he does or else Ryuuichi and Shuichi would have driven several other managers insane. Also, part of that account is deducted from K-san's pay – I can't afford to take the brunt of all of his insane gun-slinging and explosive threats.

Mika just sighs and accepts that I know what I'm doing and I better understand the workings of my crazy employees because she just turns her attention to the clock sitting on the side of my desk. It's after 9pm and although it doesn't seem that late, it is considering the fact I usually get to work before 8am and I have the dual role of musician and company president. I know Mika wants to go now, having helped me for nearly two hours, so I'm about to stand and suggest that we leave but I am stopped by the ringing of my cell phone.

"Who's calling you Tohma?" My wife has always suspected me of cheating and is curious to know if my little slut bunny is on the other end. She's partially correct because the person calling me is none other than her little brother; he used to be a little slut but he was never mine.

"It's Eiri-san," I say to Mika before silencing the ring tone by answering the phone. "Moshi Mo…," my always pleasant voice comes from my end but is interrupted by my brother-in-law asking me the address of none other than his boyfriend's best friend. I'm surprised as to why he would need to know this information so late in the evening, especially since Shuichi should have been home hours ago.

"Ano… why do you need Nakano-san's address?" While I'm waiting for him to respond to my simple question I sit back down to navigate my computer and locate the address of my employee. Eiri-san gives me the excuse that he had an argument with his boyfriend and was trying to make up with the young boy. I honestly think that this is the worst lie that I have ever heard from my brother-in-law; he never apologizes and even if he did, he would never go out of his way to do so.

After finally locating the address of the guitarist I tell my obviously pissed of brother-in-law where he can find the redhead. I want to ask again what the real reason is for needing this information but I know that I will be told nothing so instead I remain quiet. Besides, even if I did want to pry into Eiri-san's current situation I would not have been able to because as soon as he confirms the address, I am promptly hung up on. It's not as if I'm not expecting it, so when I am greeted by silence I'm not at all hurt by it.

"Why did he need the address of his little boy toy's best friend," I hear my wife ask as I place my phone back securely in my pocket. Her guess is just as good as mine about the real motive behind this action but all I can do is tell her what her brother told me; he had a fight with Shindou-san and wants to go over there to apologize. Mika responds by giving me a look between confusion and distrust on my behalf; she knows Eiri-san as well as I do and that explanation is obviously a lie.

I don't know whether I should get up to leave again or remain here in my office in the event Eiri-san decides to tell me the truth and will actually need my help. I'm almost afraid that my little 'brother' is about to confront my two musicians about a possible love affair but I think Eiri-san would tell me if that were indeed the case; he tells me everything. Since I live in a suburb outside of Tokyo I don't want to have to leave and come back but at the same time remaining in this empty, lifeless building is not an option I enjoy.

"Could Shuichi be cheating on him with his friend?" my wife asks, adding voice to my own confused thoughts and speculations. But the more time I think about it, the less likely that option seems. Despite being obviously in a bad mood, he wasn't angry, hurt and homicidal enough to be heading over to Nakano-san's apartment for revenge.

"I honestly don't know," is the only response I give to my wife, however. I don't like ruling out any possibilities when it comes to Eiri-san, so I leave that theory about the pink-haired musician hang in the air, helping to suffocate us in the silence of my office. I just continue to sit at my desk and wait for my wife to make a suggestion about what our course of action should be. I grin at this thought because I know she wants nothing more than to go home but I don't want to risk having my employees assaulted by my younger brother-in-law.

Mika lets out a sigh when she notices I have yet to move from my seat. Instead, she eases her very pregnant frame out of the comfortable chair she's been occupying for the past few hours and makes her way over to me. I barely notice how close she is to me until she gently turns my face so that I am now staring into her eyes. After a few seconds of studying my worn features, she leans down and kisses me on the lips before heading towards to door.

"Call Eiri and the redhead in about an hour to make sure everyone's still breathing and not in jail. After that, come home." With that said, she leaves me alone in my office. Sometimes I love my wife for always being able to read my inner thoughts and feelings and still not hate me for it. Without anyone else to keep me company, all I can do is turn back to some work that I was going to deal with in the morning. I glance over at the clock again and hope that I won't nod off before I think it's a good time to call my brother-in-law back and make sure everything is fine. But knowing how much he dislikes talking to me unless he absolutely has to, it would probably be a better idea to just call Nakano-san later to verify he hasn't joined the ranks of the dead.

After a few seconds of hesitating, I turn my attention to the large stack of papers in front of me and start the grueling task of handling my responsibilities as the president of this fine company. Sometimes I amaze myself at being able to handle this workload and thank Buddha nightly for giving me the strength to be able to deal with this as well as Nittle Grasper. Well, at least I have Noriko-san to help me out with Grasper or else I would have died already from the pressure and stress, not to mention fatigue.

After what seems like an eternity of doing paperwork that I could no longer ignore, I once again hear my cell phone ring. The noise of the ring tone is unbearably loud in my empty office so I rush to silence the annoying sound. I'm surprised to see Eiri-san's name on the Caller ID and I know that now is me chance to find out what the hell is actually going on.

"Eiri-san, what's wrong? Did Shindou-san not accept your apology?" I say in my usual calm voice, faking concern because I know that his excuse held no truth and I am not going to waste my time on playing this game of 'Let's tell a bad lie to Tohma.'

"Look, I'm not in the mood. I just need some info on a certain little half-assed, wanna-be rock star turned rapist. He went after Shuichi again and this time I need to do something about it," is Eiri-san curt response and I feel as though the wind as just been knocked out of me. I thought I had ended everything with Aizawa but it seems as if I failed. Not that I failed to take care of a jealous star whose career I ended, but that I failed to keep my brother-in-law safe from that bastard. I can tell from the venom lacing his voice that he wants nothing more than to make the crazed ex-musician bleed and beg for his life.

"Eiri-san, please, let me take care of this." I am now pleading with the vengeful blond, not wanting him to have anymore blood on his hands all because of my mistakes and failures.

"Didn't you say that you would take care of it last time?" Eiri-san responds, anger and frustration laced with his voice like a sheet of ice. This comment sends chills throughout my body because he's right and I can't deny that. The first time Aizawa went after my 'brother' I swore that I would make sure the musician would not even dream of coming anywhere near those I hold dear to me. I had even sworn that I would kill my former employee for making threats towards the only person I loved more than anyone in the world. Of course, I love my wife, but not in the same way I love her little brother.

"Please, listen to me Eiri-san, I can…" I am cut off from my plea by Eiri-san hardened voice again asking whether or not I knew where he could find his target. I let out a small sigh and reach my hand into the bottom left hand drawer of my desk to look up any information I have regarding Aizawa. I make it an issue to take tabs on all the people I hate or who would even dare to cross me, keeping it on paper because computers can easily be hacked in to while paper can just as easily be shredded.

"If I give you his address will you promise me that you won't do anything too dangerous?" Although I know that there is no way that he will make me this promise, I will feel better knowing that I at least asked him. His only response to me is silence and I let out another sigh, this time noticeably louder, and I then read out the address that is written on the paper in front of me. "Be careful Eiri-san and call me when it's all over." With that said the other line goes dead and I know that my brother-in-law has just hung up on me.

I am now torn between telling my wife what is going on and just keeping this a secret between Eiri-san and myself so that this extra burden of her brother's pain won't add itself to Mika's already worried mind. I decide that secrecy is the best option as I get up from my desk and head out the door with Aizawa's address etched into my brain. Even though my brother-in-law won't let me take care of this for him, I will at least be there in case he needs me for anything.

It's a maddening slow journey from my office down to the parking lot which houses my car. I can't help but think that maybe I should go to Aizawa's apartment first to deal with the jealous man but I know that it would take me longer to get to his apartment than Eiri-san so there's no point in me trying. The fact that my 'brother' had a head start and drives like a madman doesn't help my chances either. So instead, as soon as I get inside my black Jaguar I try to start thinking of believable stories I can tell the police in case Eiri-san does become a suspect from Aizawa's murder. After a few seconds of this, I decide that unless I know how the man was killed I can't possibly make up anything to tell anyone. So, the only thing left for me to do is pull out of the dark, deserted structure and head towards the same area as the blond author.

When I do arrive at the soon-to-be murder scene, I notice the black foreign car that could only belong to the man who I worry about every day of my life. I would have never found it if I hadn't had the same idea of parking in as dark of an area as possible. I simply park my car directly behind Eiri-san's and wait. I have always been a patient man so sitting here for however long is not a problem for me.

Despite my patience, I become a little worried after I notice that Eiri-san hasn't come back after thirty minutes. I reach my hand into my pocket and pull out my cell phone, hoping that my brother-in-law will pick up his. After a few rings, I am greeted by Eiri-san's voice, but only through his voicemail message. I quickly hang up and try dialing the number again but I still reach his voicemail. Letting out a defeated sigh, I step out of my car and walk over to my brother-in-law's and once again call him. As I look into the partially tinted windows of his black sport's car, I see a small light illuminate from the front passenger-side – Eiri-san's cell phone.

I want to scream into the night to let out my frustration that I must continue this waiting game but I choose to remain quiet and figure out some other course of action. I turn my attention once again to the apartment building the houses my former employee and wonder what could possibly be going on in that ominous structure.

After standing in the shadows for a few more minutes I notice a tattered, old car pull up in front of the building that should by now be crime scene. From that car a rough looking man with shoulder length black hair pulled back in a ponytail steps out and heads into the structure before him. I get an uncomfortable felling in the pit of my stomach which only works to increase my anxiety about Eiri-san's safety. It's not as if I usually have these feelings when I see random people but rather that I recognize that man. After Aizawa's first "encounter" with Shindou-san, I did some searching on exactly who could have attacked him. I would have gone after the men, but seeing as how they were nothing more than hired thugs and I don't particularly care for the pink-haired singer, neither attacker died at my hands. However, standing here outside the home of the man who hired those thugs and seeing one of them enter as if ready to follow Aizawa's lead once more I know Eiri-san could be in danger.

Despite my resolve and determination to never let anyone do anything to my beloved brother-in-law, I am in no condition to do anything. If Aizawa _was_ able to defeat Eiri-san or at least be able to call for assistance, there's no way I'd be able to stand a chance against the former singer. The only thing left for me to do is call for assistance.

I was not surprised at all to hear an excited voice when I called K-san and asked him to meet me and be prepared for anything. I don't think I have ever worked so closely with anyone who would be so happy to hear that they were needed to help me possibly kill someone; but then again, I have never worked with anyone like Claude "K" Winchester.

I tell the American only as much as I think he needs to know about the situation and tell him to get here as quickly as possible. I think I reminded him a few dozen times to remain as inconspicuous as possible and that this was more like a assassination than a murder spree – get in, get out, and leave no witnesses. I don't mention that the soon-to-be victim is Aizawa nor do I mention why Eiri-san came here in the first place. Luckily, K-san never asks questions but only tells me that he'll be here shortly.

After waiting for nearly another thirty minutes I am reminded why I used to hate working with Americans sometimes; they are late and take their time when they should be in a hurry. When I had called K-san, I was sure that he'd be here in a few minutes so I didn't even bother to re-enter my car so I have been pacing around this dark, shadowy area the whole time. Luckily, no one was around to see me because I definitely stand out and look as if I don't belong here.

I have to restrain myself when I do receive a call from the blond manager asking where I'm parked so he can join me. After I tell him my exact location, it's only a matter of seconds before I see K-san pull up behind my car and step out of the red, domestic vehicle. He's wearing a long black trench coat and none of his guns are visible. His hair is pulled back in its usual ponytail and he's wearing black combat boots. His expression is serious when he finally asks what I plan on doing. I turn away from him and begin walking towards the apartment and say nothing. My steps are quick and hurried as I try to get to where Aizawa lives as quickly as possible.

After what seems like an eternity, we enter the building and make our way up to the top floor where my former employee dwells. K-san and I are both quiet as we make this journey, which does nothing but increase my anxiety. Without either of our voices to distract me, I am left with only my own thoughts and fears over what can happen to Eiri-san. When our trek does come to an end, we are standing out in front of the door of Aizawa's door, and I have no idea what our first course of action should be.

I turn around to look at my impromptu bodyguard/assassin who is now taking off his trench coat to reveal what he's wearing underneath. He's in black and grey army camouflage clothing with two 9mm in the two side holsters of his belt and an AK-47 strapped across his back. I am at a loss as for how he was able to fit that under his coat without as much of a slight impression of any of his weaponry, but I should know by now to under underestimate the power, ability and training of the former Secret Serviceman. He drops his coat on the floor and leans in to press his ear against the door of the apartment. I can tell he's straining to hear what is being said on the other side of the wooden barrier by the expression on his face. However, that expression of concentration is quickly replaced by one of shock and fear as he quickly steps back from the door to kick it open.

When the door can no longer obstruct my vision, my world is turned upside down as it feels as if my heart has stopped and all of reality is now moving in slow motion. I barely notice as the now broken door nearly falls off it's hinges from the force of K-san's brutal kick, or the way the wood splinters and flies off in different directions. No. The only thing I notice is the fact that Eiri-san is on his knees with Aizawa behind him forcing his head down towards the hardwood floor beneath them. I notice the fact that my brother-in-law's pants have been pulled down leaving his lower body exposed to the night air and anyone who may look in his direction. I notice that my former employee is threatening to do to the one person in this world who I love more than myself what his former sensei did to him over six years ago. Or maybe Aizawa has already turned my beloved Eiri-san into one of his many victims.

After what seems like an eternity of witnessing a present that should have never happened and reliving a past I should have prevented, I finally snap back to reality and time begins to move in its normal pace. I waste little time as I walk past K-san and grab one of the 9mm that was in his side holster. Aizawa – who had stopped all motion after K-san and I entered the apartment – now begins to back away from my 'brother' once he notices the gun in my hand. I raise the lethal instrument of death and aim it directly at Aizawa's head, making him scramble more to get out of my range and vision.

Having lived the life I have forced me to learn how to better wield such a deadly weapon but now is the first time that I have every aimed a gun at a living target. Although I should be, I'm not shaking nor do I feel nervous or scared to pull the trigger and end this pathetic excuse of a human being's life. If anything, I feel nothing – numb. I know that it will be nothing for me to pull the trigger but before I can do anything, K-san steps beside me and grabs my hand to lower the gun from its deadly aim. I glance once more into Aizawa's pleading eyes before I turn my attention the American beside me. He can probably sense my anger and frustration because he just tells me to take care of Eiri-san.

I look over to where my brother-in-law is laying on the floor; his mouth duct taped, his hands bound behind his back and his pants still down at his knees. Also in that direction is the man whom I saw earlier while I was waiting outside; he's kneeling by Eiri-san, his hands up showing that he's unarmed and not a threat to anyone. I wonder if K-san has his AK aimed at this street thug or if he's as afraid of me as Aizawa is.

Before I secure the 9mm in the waistband of my pants and head over towards my beloved 'brother,' I motion for the hired thug to join Aizawa in cowering against a wall, completely out of my sight – for now. After the gun is away, I walk over to Eiri-san so I can begin the task of untying his hands and removing the tape from his mouth. I am almost afraid to look down at him, expecting to be greeted by a small puddle of blood from when he was so violently forced into. Before I move behind him, I silently pray to every god and beg that one of them is merciful enough to have let me come in time to save my brother-in-law. I pledge my undying faith and love to any deity that will answer my prayers of keeping Eiri-san safe from the perverted desires of a deranged employee of mine. I will instantly convert if necessary if my simple prays, wishes and desires are answered.

I hold my breath as I move behind him, with all of my prayers being repeated over and over in my mind. I almost can't believe my eyes when I see my brother-in-law's beautiful, perfect posterior unmarked and unharmed. I let out a sign of relief as I kneel down behind Eiri-san to untie his hands. The ropes are unbelievably tight and I know that his skin must be bruised and red, but I can live with that; at least Aizawa only succeeded at only bruising his wrists.

After a few moments of being completely unsuccessful with untying the blond before me, K-san – who still has Aizawa and his friend against the wall at gunpoint – hands me a pocket knife so I can use that to free Eiri-san's hands. After I finally succeed at cutting the annoying material, my 'brother' pushes me away and brings his hands up to remove the duct tape from his mouth. The adhesive must have pulled at the short stubbles on his face because he mutters a few curses under his breath.

"I'm so sorry Eiri-san. I should have come earlier and maybe…" I try to give him my most sincere apology but I am quickly cut off when I see the glare he's giving me. I can't even begin to imagine how he must feel, having nearly been raped and thus forced to relive his terrible childhood which I caused him. I guess all I can seem to do is cause Eiri-san nothing but pain and suffering.

I remain motionless and quiet while I watch him stand and fix his clothes and try to rub the pain away from his wrists. I was wrong to think that his skin would just be red and slightly bruise because his skin is broken in a few places, causing small patches of blood to rise to the surface. After realizing that his wrists are not going to get any better, he raises his hands to his head and I now notice a small gash that's there, surrounded by dried blood. Eiri-san must have been hit in the head which could explain how he was overpowered by Aizawa and placed in such a compromising position.

I snap back to my senses after Eiri-san bends down to retrieve a gun that is lying on the floor, and I stand up to once again focus my anger, hatred, and malice on the two men who are the cause of all the pain and suffering my brother-in-law and I have had to deal with tonight.

"I thought I told you to stay away from Eiri-san," I say with my back to the Aizawa and his partner. I'm still facing Eiri-san but my head is held down. I don't want to look into his eyes yet I don't want to turn away from him so I can make sure that he's actually here, safe in front of me. "But no," I turn around now, "you try to have your way with him and on top of that, you got a friend to help you in this endeavor." I reach for the gun that's in the waistband of my pants and pull it out to once again aim it at Aizawa.

K-san doesn't react to my word and he's still diligently holding his AK-47 at them to squash any of their attempts at running away; you don't want to mess with a man who's holding a weapon that can kill you five times before you even hit the ground.

"You know if you shoot us, the whole building will hear and someone will see something and nail you." Again, Aizawa was trying to find a way to save himself but the little problem was easily remedied when K pulls something out of his pocket. While still holding his large caliber automatic weapon with his right hand, his left reaches into a side pocket to pull out a silencer. It wouldn't do anything for his AK, but it was perfect for my 9mm. He hands the black tube to me and I proceed to affix it to my gun.

"Now, there's no problem, is there Aizawa-san?" The sarcasm and venom pour from my mouth making the two men fall to their knees to continue their begging. The once arrogant star was now crying without hesitation. The tears were the only sign that this bastard was indeed human and should have been shown some mercy; just not from any of us irate gunmen.

"Please, I beg you Seguchi-sama," Aizawa says as he tries to be more humble and polite, "don't do this. Please, I swear, I won't do anything again, just don't kill us." Aizawa even capped off this little speech with a bow so low it looked uncomfortable.

"Seguchi-sama, I don't know what beef…I mean issues you have with Taki-san, but please don't take this out on me; I had nothing to do with it. Please, you wouldn't want to kill an innocent man, would you?" It's clear that Aizawa's partner doesn't know me very well; I know what this man has done in the past and would have done had I not been here to stop all of this.

"Oh really? You think you're innocent?" I had almost forgotten that my brother-in-law was in the rooms since all my attention was focused on possibly ending the life of the men before me. The sarcasm of words fall from Eiri-san's mouth laced with pure hatred as he begins to move towards the two cowering men. He turns his attention to the man who was first hired to rape the man he loves and then attempted to rape him. "First you rape Shuichi and then you try to do the same to me and you think you're _innocent_!" With an unclear mind, my 'brother' stands in front of the ponytailed man, his rationality blinded by his anger and fear.

The tip of the barrel of Eiri-san's gun is right on the forehead of Aizawa's friend, threatening to paint the walls with his brains and blood. They are both trembling and I don't want him to actually pull the trigger. His hands are stained with enough blood and I don't want him to be responsible for another life taken so violently due to my mistakes.

"Yuki-san, you wouldn't want to get blood on your nice outfit, would you?" Eiri-san and I turn around to look at K who is still holding that AK-47 for some reason; such a large weapon would bring too much attention to us if he did use it, but it's a good way to keep people you don't like quiet and complacent. After a few seconds Eiri-san does take the American's opinion and take a few steps back, slowly lowering his gun from its deadly aim.

Once he's far enough from the two rapists, K also hands him a silencer while I takes this opportunity to shoot the ponytailed man in the head. His dead, now limp body falls backwards to land on the floor, his blood splattered not only on the wall behind him, but also on Aizawa. Luckily, we are all far away enough so that none of it got on any of us. Both K-san and Eiri-san look over at me in disbelief that I actually pulled the trigger and ended someone's life. But then again, none of them matter and the life that I took was nothing more than a mere inconvenience.

Aizawa literally pissed his pants when he saw that his partner had been shot, mercilessly, by me – his former boss and well respected man. His eyes are wide as they stare at the blood that's oozing out of the wound on the other man's head; the thug's eyes are staring back at Aizawa in total disbelief as if he knew that I was going to shoot him and end his life.

We all wait a few seconds to let the full gravity of the situation hit Aizawa like the car that should have ended his life several months prior. After he is over the initial shock of seeing someone killed before his eyes he turns his attention to the killer. He's staring at me while my arm is still extended, ready to shoot another deadly round from the still smoking barrel. Tears stream down Aizawa's face while he shakes his head 'no' hoping that we will leave him here unharmed.

I can't believe that he expects me to show him any mercy after all that he's done to me, Shindou-san and Eiri-san. Aizawa's tears mean nothing to me and his pleas are falling upon deaf ears. I felt nothing after shooting his partner in the head except for an urge to do the same to my former employee. I only respond to his display of raw, pained emotions by lowering my aim from the ex-singer's head and promptly shooting the man in the hand. Aizawa yelps out in pain as blood flows from the lead-created hole in his left hand.

"Make another sound and you'll regret it," are my curt words before Aizawa could scream out his pain alerting the whole building that he is being murdered. The former star grits his teeth together to suppress the feelings that are threatening to overwhelm him. His right hand holds his left below the wrist trying to cut off the circulation of blood flowing to the wound.

"First you attack one of my singers in your little petty vendetta of insecurity, then you threaten my little brother by saying you'll go to the media with his past," I now shoot Aizawa in his right hand forcing him to fully face me once again before continuing with my speech. "I thought I took care of that by having you nearly hit by that car. One would think that you would have learned after that to stay away from any and everything associated with me, but no." Again, a gunshot is added to my deadly speech and this bullet lands in Taki's left thigh. The now-bleeding man is still silent but it seems like its more fear of what else I can do to him that is worse than what has already been done as opposed to anything else. "Instead of walking away from Shindou-san and Eiri-san, you blackmail the boy and turn him into your little sex toy. And as if that we're enough, tonight you tried to rape Eiri-san!" The next bullet hits the other thigh leaving his limbs a bloody mess. Aizawa's arms are hanging at his side and he leans his head back against the wall for support as the tears won't seem to cease their journey down his face. His lips are trembling as if he's still trying to beg for me to let him live despite the wounds I have already inflicted upon him.

"Well, since you can't seem to learn how to keep your perverse urges in check, I'll just have to do something about that." With that said, the final shot to be fired from my gun hits our prey straight in the crotch. Both K-san and Eiri-san look away from the scene before them, not wanting to see his now-deformed looking genitals with a huge hole spilling blood all over the floor. After a few moments my companions look over to Aizawa and we watch as his eyes roll in the back of his head. His breathing is becoming very ragged and he's clearly going into shock from the wound I inflicted on him.

Before the other two blonds can do or say anything, I turn on my heels and start to walk out of the door without a second thought. I want the man to suffer for as long as possible in as much pain as I can cause him so hopefully, his death will be agonizingly slow and painful. With him in this condition, it won't be long before his life slips away, but it will be long enough so that his last moments here on Earth are filled with nothing more than mind-numbing pain, suffering and visions of my uncaring form pulling the trigger.

K-san turns immediately to follow me but it takes a few seconds for Eiri-san to move away from the scene in front of him. Based on the American's background, bloody, violent scenes such as this probably aren't new to him, so he doesn't seem affected by it. Eiri-san on the other hand is a different story. Even though he came here intent on murder and revenge, he probably didn't expect for any of this to happen. The last time he used a gun to end another person's life, he was blindly shooting into a group of men who had just reduced him to nothing more than a toy to be played with and broken. He would have never guessed that I could and would so cold-heartedly torture Aizawa like I did. Well, maybe not torture, but what I did was rather merciless.

"Yuki-san, is there anyone else in the apartment," K-san asks my brother-in-law before he steps out the apartment breaking me out of my train of thought. I look down to see what the American could be talking about and I am greeted by a pair of black stiletto heels partially covered by bits and pieces of the tattered door. Eiri-san tells him that there was some "sketchy looking chick" when he woke up. He points us in the direction of the bedroom and all three of us head there to eliminate the last remaining witness to the unspeakable sins we have just committed.

After we reach the bedroom near the back of the apartment, we see an unconscious woman laying across the bed with a mirror with a razor and traces of white powder on it near her feet. It was clear that the reason why she didn't come out during this entire incident was because she's too high and she is in a substance-induced sleep that she won't wake up from for several hours.

"Well, it looks like there's no witnesses to this murder committed over drugs and money," I say, already formulating a plan about what to tell the police to label their investigation if they don't draw that same conclusion on their own. With this taken care of, we can all finally leave this place that reeks of blood, death and revenge. I'm actually surprised that no one walked by the unhinged, broken door to see us commit these acts but I should be grateful for this; we just got away with murder and vengeance.

With hurried steps we leave the building to walk over to our respective cars, nicely parked in a row; Eiri-san's followed by mine and then K-san's. "How long did you wait before coming here," my brother-in-law asks after seeing the order of our cars. He should have known that it wouldn't have taken me long to before coming to check up on him; but then again, it took me a while to come save him.

"As soon as I got off the phone with you I immediately came here and then I called K-san when you didn't answer your phone. I thought you would need some help." Well, that was partially true; I called K-san when I saw Shindou-san's former attacker enter the building. I knew enough about that man to know that he didn't live in this neighborhood so I had every right to be suspicious about him coming here. I wish I had called the former Secret Serviceman earlier and then maybe Eiri-san would not have been in that position. I guess I should just be grateful to have come just in time to rescue my 'brother' from possibly being raped.

No one says anything for a few moments and we are all standing here in the shadows, the memory of the past events threatening to suffocate us. "Eiri-san, go home to Shindou-san and get some rest. I'll make sure everything is taken care of." I could not stand the intolerable silence that hung in the air any longer so I had to say something. I also didn't want to give my brother-in-law a chance to say anything else that would eat away more at my soul. I can't deal with anymore of Eiri-san's pain, anger and frustration being aimed at me at this moment. In fact, he's probably upset at me for stealing his revenge. But, as soon as Aizawa decided to lay a finger on my brother-in-law, it was no longer Eiri-san's responsibility to end the singer's life, but instead it was my revenge to have.

I watch as both men walk over to their cars and head off into the night to re-enter a world where they do not have to bear this burden which I have just placed upon myself. Tonight, I killed two men without a second thought about what their lives meant to the rest of the world or to my soul. I still feel numb and I hope that I will remain this way so I won't have to deal with anymore pain. Murder isn't something that I am proud of doing but at the same time there was no other choice. I would rather have my soul eaten away and burnt to a crisp in hell than to see any more harm come to Eiri-san.

After a few moments of standing in the shadows by my car, I finally enter it and head home to rejoin my wife. I'll have to tell her some details about what happened tonight just to not fully worry her since I've been gone for so long, but I think I'll leave out the part about me becoming a murderer and Eiri-san nearly being raped. The less stress she has to deal with in her present condition, the better.

I look at the clock in the dashboard of my car and notice how late it is. I guess that tomorrow will be another day when I'll have to function with barely enough sleep but I'll be fine. I'll just have to worry about some minor paperwork and promotional meetings for Nittle Grasper anyway since tomorrow (well, technically today) is Saturday so I should be fine. I'll just have to remember to make a doctor appointment for Eiri-san and make sure that none of the police officers that will eventually work on Aizawa's murder case can link anything to my brother-in-law, K-san or myself.

Now, the only thing left for all of us to do is move on and forget this night existed.

* * *

So, whacha think? Did you like it? Hate it? Think I have some serious problems and need to see someone about them as quickly as possible? Yea, I know it was really messed up how I killed Aizawa but what can I say; he's a prick and I think that all rapists should die like that. And child molesters too.

For everyone who was wondering why I still had Tohma use "-san" even when he wasn't speaking, I did it cuz I think he's so uptight that he probably thinks in honorifics (you all know I'm right).

Well, leave some more feedback cuz I'm thinking about writing an epilogue but I'm not sure if I should. I mean, it would be nice to wrap everything up all nice and neatly, but I can't think of anything to say. I'm just too morbid and angsty. So, ideas and suggestions are welcomed or I can just leave this story like it is; whichever. Also, point out any grammar mistakes so I can fix them cuz posted this chapter without getting it revised so I need to know what I messed up (I'll only change big mistakes, not just something like I forgot a comma somewhere). But if I don't write anything else for this story, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it.

KuroiShinigami07


	4. Finding Closure

**A/N**: Finally, after soooo much time, here's the epilogue that I said I wouldn't write. I don't remember the last time I have _ever_ had so much trouble writing anything, which is the reason why I didn't think I was going to write this. But after a lot of thought, consideration and reviews, I decided that I might as well try. Eleven attempts later, I came up with this. Over twenty pages of failed writing and I'm still not satisfied. So please review so I can edit or completely replace this chapter. I don't want to post crap, it makes me sad. Also, this epilogue is written in third person and I personally don't like to write in third person so constructive criticism is very much appreciated.

But anyway, on with the **warnings**. If you have a problem with M/M sex, mentions of rape, blackmail, drugs, death, and bad things happening to Yuki and Shuichi, then you don't have to worry cuz this chapter is relatively clean. In fact, it's probably PG or PG-13 solely based on language (not even too much of it) and the fact that it only mentions all of the stuff listed above and not in detail. Sorry to disappoint. Enjoy.

**Disclaimer**: Don't own, don't sue. I'm just borrowing characters for my own sick, twisted pleasures.

* * *

Blackmail Epilogue – Finding Closure

The sun kissed the horizon, signaling that a new day was just beginning with the promise of many things to come. A gentle breeze blew through the trees and grass, softly caressing all it touched with such loving care. All seemed still and quiet, with only the occasional rustling of leaves in the trees above. Not even the songs of birds could be heard, signaling that they were either still asleep or trying to catch that early worm everyone keeps talking about. It was as if all of Japan knew that the young man standing outside in such beautiful weather wanted nothing more than peace and quiet while he collected his thoughts. But then again, all cemeteries demand a calmness that can only be granted to the dead who are resting there.

Shindou Shuichi – lead singer of Bad Luck, lover to the famous romance novelist Yuki Eiri, and carbon copy of his idol Sakuma Ryuichi – stood in a quiet cemetery near the outskirts of Tokyo staring at the headstone before him as if it would suddenly come to life and answer all the questions that plagued his mind. It was a lack of sleep from his constant nightmares that brought him to the grave littered earth so early in the morning. Never once in his life – not for school, work, church, nothing – did the pink-haired singer every wake up so early, on his own, like he had today. However, he knew that he couldn't put this off any longer.

His eyes traced over every curve and stoke of the kanji that was carved down the front of the stone as if it held a secret meaning that could be discovered if stared at long enough. Shuichi had been standing there before the headstone for nearly an hour, his body frozen as if he were a stone angel guarding the soul of the man that lay buried beneath his feet. With weary eyes and a shaky hand he reached out to touch the top of the stone before his, testing to make sure that it was real and he was not living in a daydream or fantasy.

His hands ran across the cool, smooth stone, taking his time as if he feared it would bite him back if he weren't too gentle. Finally, the singer's hands traveled down the front of the headstone, his fingers tracing the kanji as his eyes had done earlier. It still seemed so unreal that the man whose name was on the stone was actually dead, gone and buried; his life nothing more than a collection of memories to be forever referred to in the past tense.

Shuichi couldn't stop his thought from lingering on what little he knew about the man buried under his feet or how tragically and violently he died as he pulled his hand back to rest at his side. The singer didn't even want to imagine the amount of pain and suffering the other man went through before finally taking his last breaths and slipping into an eternal slumber. Despite not being directly responsible for the untimely death of the unfortunate soul, Shuichi could help but feel a pang of guilt for being the cause of the man lying beneath the ground instead of safe and alive in bed.

The pop star turned around to look at the man who had given him a ride and was waiting so patiently for him to come back so they could leave the place that reeked of death and fresh cut flowers and grass. He wanted nothing more than to turn to the car, run inside and leave but Shuichi knew that he couldn't just run away, not after he had come so far.

"I can't believe that we're here like this," Shuichi said as he turned back around to face the headstone, his voice just above a whisper as if he were afraid of disturbing the slumber of all those who lay in their cold coffins. "I never really thought about death, especially about you dying. I don't know, maybe I just made you seem more powerful in my mind then you actually are.

"But here you are, six feet under and you still have some hold over me. Almost every night I have nightmares and I still blame myself for your death. But after a lot of thinking and talking with Hiro, you know what I realized? It's not my fault. You brought this all on yourself."

Shuichi lowered his head as he began to feel tears roll down his face and he made no move to stop them. His hands were balled up into tight fists held at his side, almost wanting to hit something or someone in order to release some of the anger and frustration he was feeling. With more strength and resolve he began to speak again, this time letting the pain and anger lace his voice.

"IT'S YOUR FAULT THAT YOU'RE DEAD!" Those words rang out through the cemetery, causing Shuichi's impromptu chauffer to jump slightly in the car, astounded by the raw emotions and sheer volume of the singer's voice. This was the first time he had heard Shuichi's voice since getting out of the car and it wasn't nearly as booming.

"Did you think you would get away with it all? You had me raped, you raped me, blackmailed me, threatened and assaulted Eiri and then you got what you deserved." The young star lifted his head up to the sky, his eyes trained on the clouds passing above him but not really seeing the white fluffy masses. He just needed to look at something – anything – other than the grave before him.

"After the first time, I thought you were just pathetic." Shuichi's voice was once again soft and lacking the anger it held before. "The only way you could stay on top is if you took me out of the game after completely humiliating me and reducing me to a cheap whore. _Your_ cheap whore. But I got over it. It strengthened mine and Eiri's relationship, Hiro was there for me and I knew that it wasn't my fault. Sure I would think sometimes that maybe if I hadn't followed you that night or if I wasn't drinking, I would have gotten away and it wouldn't have happened. Heh, but you know what? You probably would have found another way to have them rape me. And that how I dealt with it, that's what allowed me to not blame myself and move on with my life; I couldn't have stopped it from happening.

"But when you sent those pictures… I knew that there was no way around it. You didn't have a couple of random thugs waiting to drag me out to a secluded area; there weren't people to hold me down and force to on my knees. You were only armed with pictures and a part of my past I wished and prayed I'd forget."

The pink-haired star looked down at the tombstone once again before speaking, his voice soft and choked as the tears continued their journey down his face. "You made me see what I did and allowed them to do. I didn't fight, I didn't scream and I didn't cry. Not because I liked it, but because I didn't want to give you the joy of seeing my pain. And I thought that maybe if I could handle that, I could handle your blackmail again. I had to protect myself and Eiri from your jealousy. I made the choice to go to that hotel but couldn't handle it. I felt dirty and disgusting and…and…I felt like everything you said about me was true. I didn't think I could face Eiri because I felt like such a slut and that I deserved all those things you did to me. Why? Because I let you do it. I didn't ask Eiri to fight for me or get Tohma to take care of everything, and that's what made me blame myself for all of this. But it's not my fault you were a sick bastard and used me like that.

"But now you're dead and I'm just realizing that it's your fault that you're dead. When I first heard about it, I couldn't stop thinking that if I hid the pictures better and if I didn't act weird then Eiri wouldn't have found out and you wouldn't be dead. No matter how much I hated you, and I still do – even if you are dead – but I would never wish death upon anyone. I wished that your dick would shrivel up and fall off but at least you'd still be alive. I just kept thinking I was a murderer, even if Seguchi-san was the one who shot you. No one would have gone over there if it wasn't for me."

Shuichi once again turned his head to face the car he had ridden in and its driver. His blond haired lover, despite looking very tired, kept his gaze on the pink-haired singer intent on giving him some moral support, even if it was from a distance. Shuichi smiled knowing that the once stoic, cynical man cared so much about him to not just be there for him, but to have nearly killed the man whose spirit he was talking to now.

"No matter what happened, what you did to me and made me do, Eiri was always there for me." Shuichi didn't even bother to turn his gaze from his lover as he continued to talk to the soul of the man who seemed to always haunt him. "He didn't hate me for what you made me do; in fact, he never wanted me to do any of it. He cared about me more than his reputation. He always came to help and save me from you even if it meant him getting hurt." Shuichi couldn't contain the renewed anger that he felt boiling inside of him as he turned to face the tombstone again, speaking through clenched teeth. "And you did hurt him. You nearly gave him a concussion from that blow to the head, he had to be hospitalized for his ulcer and you almost did the same thing to him that you did to me. Heh, I couldn't even believe that he told me about it, but I guess I should be happy that he told me. Knowing him it probably slipped while he was a little too drugged up to realize it. His psychiatrist had to up his prescription when he started having nightmares again."

Shuichi held his head down and began to laugh. It wasn't the kind of laughter that conveys some sort of humor and joy but rather one that alerts the rest of the world that you're very close to a mental breakdown and truly believe that the fates are against you and that if there is a god in heaven, s/he must hate you. There were tears in his eyes and his small frame was trembling slightly with the force of his laughter. "For the longest time I blamed myself for that too. I thought that it was my fault for making him sick and reliving his past. That's what I had tried to protect him from but it ended up biting me in the ass. He kept telling me that it wasn't my fault but I refused to believe him. Hiro told me the same thing and so did Seguchi-san but I couldn't stop blaming myself.

"But now, I'm over that. They were right and it's not my fault. The only reason why any of this happened was because you hated me. You hated my talent, my success and you hated that I was better than you. If you never blackmailed me, Eiri wouldn't have gotten sick, so it's your fault. If you never took those pictures or if you would have just gotten rid of them, I wouldn't have had to do any of that stuff." The pop star couldn't help but cringe at the memory of the things he had to do in that cheap, dank motel room before he continued. "If you didn't do any of that stuff to me Eiri wouldn't have tried to kill you and if you would have left him alone, then Seguchi-san wouldn't have been the one to pull the trigger.

"You dug your own grave…oh my god, I can't believe I just said that." Shuichi shook his head, somewhat upset with himself for choosing such bad words. He almost wanted to laugh at himself but decided that it was just better to finish what he started. "Either way, you brought this all on yourself and I shouldn't blame myself anymore and I should just move on. I still have my life to live and a bright future ahead of me.

"So, now, I guess this is goodbye. Goodbye from this world, from my nightmares and goodbye from my life." With that said, Shuichi turned around and headed back towards his lover's car, feeling like the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders. He was able to leave all of his pain and self-blame with the man who had caused all of it. He had loosened the hold that the man he was walking away from had on him.

With a sigh of relief, Shuichi approached and enter his lover's sleek sports car, intent on leaving as soon as possible. The blond just sat there for a few seconds, looking at his lover, wanting to ask him if everything was okay but he didn't want to drop his façade of being an uncaring prick, even if it wasn't the time nor place. When the singer decided to not say anything after a few moments, Eiri took it as a sign that Shuichi didn't want to talk about it, at least not right at the moment. The novelist turned to face forward again and was about to start the ignition but something stopped him; it was the sound of Shuichi whispering so softly he wasn't sure if the other man was even talking to him at all.

"Did you say something," Eiri said, his voice low and dull. It was clear to anyone that the blond was dead tired and probably wanted to go back to sleep more than he wanted to leave the cemetery. He turned back around to look at his lover while bringing his hand over to move the younger man's face so he could look into the violet depths of his lover's eyes.

"I said that I can't believe it." Shuichi's voice was still soft and quiet as if he didn't want his lover to hear him for a second time. "I never thought that I would come here and get all of that off of my chest."

Eiri said nothing but instead leaned forward and laid a quick, soft kiss on his koibito's pink lips. He had been worried about his younger lover since this whole incident began. His worry even carried on after Aizawa was dead and buried, fear and guilt gripping his whole being for not being to quell his lover's fears and nightmares. If that wasn't bad enough, he had made himself sick all over again, something he had tried to avoid, and it nearly sent the pink-haired singer into a deep depression. Whenever anything bad happened to him, his lover couldn't help but blame himself even though it wasn't his fault.

Eiri lifted up his hand and gently stroked the side of Shuichi's face as he began to speak to the younger male. "I'm glad that you finally realize that you were the victim in all of this. I'm proud of you Shu-chan."

Shuichi just stared at his blond lover as if he had grown another head and was having a conversation with himself in French. This was the first time that the novelist had ever told him he was proud of anything he had done and accomplished. He continued to stare until he heard the sound of Eiri starting the ignition of the engine, the blond obviously not wanting to wait for Shuichi to make any attempt to form words from his hanging jaw. He was tired and wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible so they could both try to take a nap; Buddha only knew how much they both needed it.

"D-d-d-did you just say that you were proud of me," the pop star asked after finally snapping back to reality. He continued to look at his lover but it was now less of a surprised, gaping stare that could rival a dumb fish.

"Yeah, I said something like that about five minutes ago," the blond replied, too tired to say anything more sarcastic and besides, he needed to be nice to his young lover now anyway. He glanced over at Shuichi, trying not to keep his eyes off the road too long since was barely in any condition to be driving. The younger man was smiling and could barely keep from bouncing up and down in his seat in sheer happiness. Eiri was being nice to him even though he was sleepy which would usually put him in a very bad, evil, keep-talking-to-me-and-I'll-kill-you-slowly mood.

Maybe the blond was changing and it was all for the better. Shuichi laughed to himself slightly as he thought about the reasons behind his lover's transformation; Aizawa Taki. It was very true that the lives of both men in the car were forever changed by the jealousy and hatred of the once talented rival singer, and some of it was a change for the better.

Maybe the old sayings were true and that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Both Shuichi and Eiri had overcome many hurdles in their lives and relationship and they were better for it. Eiri was nicer to his young lover and their relationship deepened. It was even evident in the way the novelist allowed his koibito to call him by his given name, a luxury generally given only to family. The blond had also proved that he would go to any lengths to protect the younger man, throwing caution, his own safety and health to fate to be dealt with at a better time.

Knowing this made Shuichi's heart swell with joy as he leaned over to lay his head on his lover's strong shoulder, content with the simple contact. Eiri made no effort to push the pink-haired singer away from him. He shared his lover's smile and they continued to drive home in silence, allowing their thoughts to fill the void, knowing that the other was probably thinking about similar things.

"I love you Eiri. So much that you'll never know."

"I know exactly how much you love me, brat."

'And I love you too.' Those words didn't need to be spoken but both men know that they were in Eiri's heart, even if they didn't flow from his lips. They both knew that actions spoke louder than words and Eiri's actions would forever resound in Shuichi's mind as clearly as the blond's words would.

With that in mind, Shuichi allowed himself to nod off, still leaning against his lover. There was now nothing to weigh heavily on the singer's heart and mind to keep him up so he let himself slip into a light slumber knowing that his dreams would not be haunted by his past or the dead for he had finally found the closure that he so desperately needed and deserved.

* * *

**A/N**: Yay, all done. Did you like it, hate it, think I should work on another one and replace this crap? Sorry about having some of Shuichi's thoughts all over the place, but then again, he's all over the place. Also, who thinks straight at a time like that?

So, I hope you enjoyed reading this fic as much as I enjoyed reading it. Now I won't feel so bad about working on my other fics so I can finally post them (I'm in the middle of two Yami no Matsuei fics that have been begging to be posted). Don't forget to review so I can fix this epilogue and also just for my own personal growth as a writer. And like I said before, I don't like writing in third person unless it's a paper for one of my classes so I need to improve. Don't let me write crap! Correct, criticize me, flame me, something. Just let me know that someone's actually reading.

But anyway, keep an eye out for me and maybe I'll write something less demented and angst-y (won't happen anytime soon cuz the 2 fics I'm working on now just scream 'mean and evil'). Hopefully, you'll hear from me again soon.

-- KuroiShinigami


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